In the past couple weeks I have been desperately searching to find a place to land, some space in my life to settle, and a less chaotic rhythm to fall into as I adjust to an ever-changing routine. In the midst of big life changes and plans and crazy life surprises one after another, it’s been hard to find some peace.
When I start to get life-tired and overly emotional from wearing myself too thin and neglecting sleep (which has been quite often over the past few months), I try to assess what I can cut out of my life–how I can give my heart more space to live in a place of happiness. So, true to Britt-fashion, I made a list of my current obligations before bed the other night.
What I found was an overwhelming list of ingredients to a budding dream life… a life that I have been trying to position myself into for years (minus the desk job, of course). In scanning my list, an overwhelming feeling of gratitude washed over me. I thought to myself, “Holy crap, I am fucking exhausted, broke, and overworked, but…my hard work is getting results.”
I can’t deny these results, and not just tangibly– but in my quality of life. I am SO much happier than I was a year ago… I am constantly surrounded by the most beautiful and supportive people on the planet. I am spending time on projects that fill my soul and challenge me as an artist and inspire me to be a better human. My life fucking ROCKS.
Making this list like, woke me UP. It energized me. It’s like feeling the burn after a good workout and celebrating that hurt. That good, sweet hurt that tells you that you’re going in the right direction, that you are making progress. That is what this exhaustion is for me right now. And I want to celebrate it. This uprooting and constant movement I am experiencing is somehow giving me more freedom and exhilaration than I have ever experienced. I love it.
So Exhaustion, my dear friend, I thank you. With you, I am finding my freedom.
Dear Exhaustion, let’s tell these folks what wonderful projects have made you a constant in my life lately!
CRUMBS is a prequel to the Hansel and Gretel fairytale that explores the question, “What could compel a father to cast his children out of their home and abandon them in the woods?” Written in the wake of the loss of Amir’s father, CRUMBS takes those experiences and more on a journey into new territory with a family broken by loss, yearning to rebuild their family from crumbs. It is a beautiful journey of love, grief, and what it means to rebuild family — or tear it to pieces. I cannot talk-up this project enough. Amir’s music is incredible– it fills my heart up to the brim to work on such beautiful words and notes. I am honored to work alongside such a talented cast and production team!!
This week also brought the excitement of a successful and sold-out opening night at Theatre Vertigo!
I have been working on The Velvet Sky (producing duties) with the company for months now and it is always such an amazing feeling to see all of that hard work pay off. I’m truly proud of my dear company and the high-quality work it continues to produce, no matter how overworked we all are. And speaking of hard work, MANY hours go in to producing a show in a company with eleven resident members and no artistic director. That’s right, this little commie company worked hard into the dead of the night this week to prep for the show…
…but we had plenty of pizza and beer to keep us happy, so it was totally worth it. Go Team.
Rehearsals for Steven Richter‘s feature film Birds of Neptune is ramping up, as we locked in the shooting dates for March 4th-22nd. Eeeeeee! I have been lucky to get to play with many musical toys to prep for this role (my artistic wet dream fully realized):
But I think what I am most excited for right now is the opportunity to take a month off of my day job to concentrate fully on these creative endeavors. For this four-week period of time, I will be entirely–financially–self-sufficient as an actor. Uhhh… what?! This stint of artistic oasis rarely happens, so I plan to enjoy the hell out of my four weeks of Dream Life.
As I reflect on this stint of awesomeness, I realize that all of this insanity and uncertainty is what brings me the most joy… and it offers me great freedom inside of it. I am the master of my own universe. (Watch me, I’m getting all WOO WOO again.)
Every day I’m discovering how and where to look for freedom. See you on the other side, Cubicle.