Ha! I bet you thought this post was gonna be sexxxxual. PSYCH!
Nice try, suckas.
But wait… what exactly are we talking about here, Dani?
Well, Britt…this post is actually about this guy:
Ohhhhhh BIKRAM! How I love you!! And your crazy hat!
SO HOT! Hmmm… Wait a minute, we can make this sexier… Let’s go with this:
Ooooo that’s much better. Nice work, D.
Why thank you, Britt! So this guy is a yoga guru who used yoga to completely rehabilitate his mangled knee, and thereby came up with an absolutely insane brand of yoga all his own. Bikram Yoga, practiced at 105 degrees Fahrenheit and at least 40% humidity, is 26 yoga postures practiced in a specific order so you can get fresh, oxygenated blood to the deepest, darkest, most forgotten regions of your body. You have to arrive to this 90-minute class 15 minutes early, and stay 10 minutes afterwards, just to lie there in “dead body pose” and let your body acclimate, making this whole thing a two hour experience. And there’s only one rule in Bikram: YOU CAN’T LEAVE THE ROOM.
I remember hearing about Bikram and the “YOU CAN’T LEAVE THE ROOM” rule for the first time. I remember thinking, “What the hell?? Is this some kind of torture method disguised as yoga? No thanks.”
Actually, I was looking at Bikram’s website, and he ACTUALLY calls his yoga studios “torture chambers.” Aren’t y’all soooo excited to go out and try it???
The whole experience sounded like an ordeal to me and I don’t do too well in the heat anyway. Needless to say, I never considered giving Bikram yoga a try until Dani mentioned to me she was practicing it.
What sold me about Dani’s experience was how certain poses unlocked certain emotions for her–for example, experiencing an impulse to laugh or cry –and I am incredibly fascinated by how our emotional life can be triggered by our bodies. As an actor, my body is my instrument. I often find it difficult, as many actors do, to lift my guard (both emotionally and physically, in the way I carry my body), to let go, and to release my too-firm grasp of control. Bikram presents an incredible opportunity to simply let go. And the results you get from pushing your body to the limit and practicing the mindfulness of the present moment (meditation, yo!) are incredible.
I couldn’t agree more!! With all of those things!!! You HAVE to let go of control and just exist in the present moment, because the physical intensity of the experience gives you no other choice. If you start thinking about whatever wacky-ass pose you just attempted, you will get disheartened/distracted; if you start future-tripping and wondering how long the torture will last, you lose all hope. Any distraction will cause you to compromise whatever posture you are currently in, and therefore lose the essence of the whole experience. It is the most delicious torture.
But wait, let me back up to how I first got into this whole yoga thing: Groupon, bitches!!!! In Fall of 2011 I tried Bikram yoga for the first time by plunging in for the recommended 10 days in a row, and I felt like a new human being afterwards. I went like crazy to Vancouver Bikram Yoga for the rest of the month until ye olde Groupon ran out, and I was totally hooked on this yoga thing. Each class literally felt like a 2-hour trip/spirit quest, and taught me so much about myself, mind, body, and soul.
It looks like little something like this:
Notice to the left of the “Salted Pretzel” is the “Wind Removing” pose. That is ACTUALLY the name of that pose, and it ACTUALLY literally squeezes the farts out of you. Bet you never thought about that before! Next time you have a big burrito before a big date, make sure you remove some of that wind before leaving the house. Thank you, Bikram!
Seriously. One time I was in class and the gentleman next to me farted an unrealistically loud fart. In 6 months of taking class, I had never actually heard some one rip one. And especially not like that. It was… alarming. No one acknowledged Fartzilla of course, but he then proceeded to let out gigantic farts throughout THE REST OF CLASS. One after another. Long, loud, sustained farts. There must of been, like, at least 15 farts joining us that session. It took everything in my power to keep from losing it. I’m sorry, but I had to let you guys in on that one… I’m not about to suffer through that memory alone. (You’re welcome.)
Oh my God I’d never heard that story! Daaaaaamn! Well I bet that guy had such a great date that night all fart-free and glowing with health and wellness. FRIENDLY TIP: If you do choose to go to Bikram, leave plenty of time to completely reassemble yourself before going out on your fart-free date afterwards. You will sweat more than you ever thought possible in this class.
Yes! But Bikram is sexy so that should give you extra points.
No, seriously, it is. I mean you saw the picture of young, studly Bikram. Sexy! Despite all of the sweating and farting. God we are making this sound so appealing!! Well good luck on your hypothetical post-Bikram date. Hooray dating advice with Britt and Dani!!
For the record, I don’t regularly practice Bikram yoga anymore, since it is rather cost-prohibitive without ye olde Groupon. However, at least twice a week I go to normal yoga classes at my favorite place in all of Los Angeles, YogaVidala up in Los Feliz. Actually, it was really the intensity of my experience with Bikram yoga that turned me on to all yoga, and since then I have been having a blast exploring all the different schools of thoughts and ways of practicing. If you live in LA, have never tried yoga, and DON’T want to try it out in the Bikram torture chamber, come on down to YogaVidala on the last Saturday of each month at 2:00 p.m. for a FREE Intro to Yoga class. If you are anything like me, and even if you’re nothing like me, it will probably totally change your life.
Without a doubt. It changed mine. Even if you only get into the studio every once-in-a-while (the situation I am currently living in), your body remembers this stuff. It lives in you. Like your farts.
…Until Wind Removing pose removes them.
So venture forth, new Bikram Yogis! Fart no more! Spread the Good News! Be free!
~Dani & Britt