britt loves lists and summer work.

Welp, summer is really starting to sizzle here in Portland, Oregon.

Summer drinking, ACTIVATE.

Okay, well…not so much, actually. Okay, well maybe a little bit. But things are exploding here in Britt-World!  My days now consist of running around like a crazy person in the hot hot heat trying to juggle various life commitments while everyone in the Rose City loses their minds in our time-sensitive PNW sunshine.

But oddly enough, in the midst of this busy time I have put more emphasis on taking time out in my day. And you know how hard this can be for me. But–Le GASP!–I am allowing myself time to sleep in, exercise, reflect, write, and simply rest.  And I’ve been learning a lot about myself during these moments alone.

Specifically:

~I talk to myself a lot.

~I love lists.

~I have a very expensive addiction to kombucha and kale chips. This makes me sound like a huge hippie. So be it.

~When caffeinated, I am just… better.

~If I am not careful, I can send myself into Emotional Cray-Spirals (remember GCOES?! Yeah, that.)

~I have the best friends in the world. Period. Hands down, no contest.

~I am a compulsive documenter. (I bet you’re surprised.)

~I love to celebrate. I’m not sure that I am capable of bottling my enthusiasm for certain things. (Food, sharks, music, acting schuuuuf, laser-cats…)

~I’m pretty sure I can fall asleep anywhere. I tend to fall asleep any time that I stop moving, really.

~My spirit animal is a SharkMeow (that is a cat/shark hybrid, for those of you that couldn’t crack that code).

~I suck at listening to voicemail but I leave really long rambly-ass ones for others.

~I love hard. And then I future-trip hard. I need to learn to chill in that department.

~ I dislike the term “networking”.

~Chocolate is its own food-group in my food pyramid.

~I often catch myself not breathing or holding my breath for no reason. That is probably bad.

~Food and music are the way to my heart.

~It takes two seconds to make the bed. So I should just do it. And it makes everything better. Everything.

~I am incapable of sitting still at a desk all day and it is unreasonable for me to be expected to stay focused in that kind of environment.

~Running often and eating well make a huge difference.

~I am more of a risk-taker than I thought.

~I dance in my car. I don’t know how I make that work, but I certainly do it a lot.

~I really notice Dani’s absence since she’s been in India. I miss the crap outta that girl. And I think that next time she travels there, I will go with her.

~I have not traveled much in my life and I’d really love to. I think I am a wanderer by nature.

~I think everything counts a little more than we think.

My Week

This week, things really began to ramp up with no real sign of stopping until I relocate to the City of Angels in October. This an incredible feeling. It also makes me feel kind of manic and scattered at the same time. But mostly, I’m just trying to relish this situation I have found myself in. I couldn’t have planned it better if I tried. In fact, I think that’s why it’s working out. Because I didn’t plan it.

This week I got to shoot on three different projects that were incredibly exciting to me, all with people I adore working with.

The first shoot I worked on was for a short directed by Zen Freese called “King Disk”. Below are some rad BTS photos from the shoot:

_MG_4661_zps2d9b04d1

(c) ZF Creative

_MG_4541_zps58b358ff

(c) ZF Creative

_MG_4740_zps4db7f709

(c) ZF Creative

_MG_4749_zpsac6c63f3

(c) ZF Creative

I also began work on a project with Mr. Glenn Scott Lacey and Mr. Steven Dempsey of Americonic Films. These are two of my favorite people to work with in the whole entire universe. And the universe is BIIIG, people. THINK ABOUT IT. The project is entitled “Quietus”, and I am more than excited to tell you more about it soon. Stay tuned!

"Quietus", (c) Americonic Films

“Quietus”, (c) Americonic Films

I am also thrilled to be working with Fantini Cinema on a web-series called “Acting Out”:

(c) Fantini Cinema Photo credit: Galvin Collins

(c) Fantini Cinema
Photo credit: Galvin Collins

The series is about a bunch of actors. Need I say more?! It is episodic comedy at its best.

Written by Marc Steele and directed by Jana Lee Hamblin (and brought to life by, if I may say so myself, a TOP NOTCH group of comedic fucking actors!!), I didn’t need much convincing to hop on board a project as rad as this. I am having a blast with these people.

So, in short, 8 shoots in 7 days for various projects have been keeping me pretty busy. And happy. This coming week I will jump back on to the theatre bandwagon when I continue rehearsals for The Tamer Tamed with Portland Shakespeare Project.

Oh! And I got new headshots from my dear Gary Norman. You like?!

(c) Gary Norman Photography

(c) Gary Norman Photography

(c) Gary Norman Photography

(c) Gary Norman Photography

(c) Gary Norman Photography

(c) Gary Norman Photography

(c) Gary Norman Photography

(c) Gary Norman Photography

(c) Gary Norman Photography

(c) Gary Norman Photography

…pretty much. And for fun-zee’s, here is the hand-to-headshot, featuring Gavin’s hand:

(c) Gary Norman Photography

(c) Gary Norman Photography

Aaaand, thank you, Gavin! …Dick.

Peace, Love, and Shark Week,

~britt

the googlesearch game

Happy Friday, everyone!! From Portland, Oregon and Ladakh, India, your friends Britt and Dani would like to give you a little weekend treat.

Yes. Happy Friday indeed.

And this Friday we would like to introduce you to a little game that Dani and I like to call: “The (Exclusive Two Evil Actors) Google Search Game”. Welcome aboard, sports fans.

As you may recall from our oh-so-popular post“hotswetymonkysex” (which, oddly enough, got WAAAAAY more hits than any of our other posts… thanks a lot, you gross f*ckers), good Christians from around the world type very questionable things into search engines and find our blog.

…I know, SHOCKING. Because we are so appropriate and PC. It’s hard to believe.

But the stats don’t lie, people.

In the past, our blog has been discovered by typing in popular buzz-words and phrases such as:

“gypsy transvestite”

“american actors all look the same”

“tickle torture”

“kittens saying poop”,

and of course, the ever popular: “hotswetymonkysex”.

…And that’s just in one week, my friends. Each week brings whole new box of gems. And lucky for us, I’m sure each week also brings tens of millions of new follows who happened to stumble across our incrediblog by typing in the catch-phrase: “bitches be like size doesn’t matter”.

So, without further adieu, here are the winners of this week’s edition of the Two Evil Actors Google Search Game:

“flying fart gif”

“crying at desk”

“bitch please i’m a virgo”

“shoulder stand girl lift and carry”

“peanut birthday”

“two bitches are together”

“meditation posture ‘fart’ ” (…do we see a theme here?)

…and my personal fave:

“pigments of your imagination clown”.

I’m so honored to know we’re reaching such a broad and diverse audience. We are truly making a difference here, people. We’re giving back. That’s called COMMUNITY.

Now go forth and do something epic for your community this weekend. Hug a kitten that knows how to say “poop”.

love from your evil farty yogi peanuts,

evilactors

~britt who is sort of pretending to be dani right now & dani who is in India

britt gets a life upgrade

You and I, Blogersphere, have not caught up for a few weeks. In fact, I think it has been nearly a month since we’ve caught up last. Man, I’m not going to lie, it’s pretty hard to keep on track when my Evil Actor Twin Dani has been gone for weeks in India. But friends… ooooohhh, friends. My life has been changing (would you expect anything less from me?). But this time, it is nothing but good stuff. No more house fires, cancer scares, and hit-and-runs. Only life-wins. Only complete badassedry. Only TOTAL LIFE UPGRADE.

totallifeupgradeLet me give you the epic highlights.

First: I have a new room! A real room! With a door! Look, look!!

1

hello happy yellow room!

please note and appreciate my shark pillow.

please note and appreciate my shark pillow.

3

please note and appreciate my OK Computer poster.

4.

it’s SO YELLOW UP IN HERE.

For my friends following along at home, you know that this is a huge step up from my frat house basement-dwelling and air-mattress in the living-room dwelling days. Rooming with Liz* and Shane* is pretty much the best. They even feed me sometimes, if I’m really good.

Second: I got a new phone (thank you, Shane)!! 

For those of you who have not had the pleasure of hanging around me from February to June 2013, you have not experienced my old phone in all its glory:

I lived with this beauty and its "spiderweb filter" for four months.

Yup. I lived with this beauty and its “spiderweb filter” for four whole months. Roughin’ it.

And now, oh NOW, this is how my iPhone looks. And this is how I look when I am spending quality time with it.

A shatter-less screen? What LUXURY! I feel like I got a new prescription on my contacts or something. I CAN SEE AGAIN! YES!!

Third: I bought myself health insurance! Because I am a grown-up!

(And also because one major health scare is quite enough for me, thankyouverymuch.)

Fourth: One of my very dearest, closest friends,* Liz Evans and my boy-twin, *Shane Winters (both of whom I now have the pleasure of living with) GOT ENGAGED this past week!! And I was there the night it happened! I almost peed myself! (Thank you, magic of UP Reunion Weekend. Go Pilots.)

aren't they ADORBS?!

aren’t they ADORBS?!

aren't WE adorbs?!

aren’t WE adorbs?!

Aaaaanddd… (Drumroll, please)… Fifth:

I gave my notice at my day job.

desk prison

OH MY GAW!

This is both exhilarating and terrifying for me. Shit’s getting real. Goodbye, Safety Net. I’m doing it. I’m really doing it… I’m moving to Los Angeles!

Oh, LIFE! You crazy fox!! Let’s just keep doing what we’re doing.

In other news, here are the rad activities have been keeping me busy enough to think that I don’t have time to write to you…

My (past 3) week(s):

These past few weeks have been jammed packed with a lot of awesome things. In the midst of rehearsals for various projects, callbacks, and a couple of readings of new work that I got to participate in (a new screenplay co-written by Portland staples Greg James and Mike Prosser called”Tidepool” and a new piece by NY playwright Deborah Copeland entitled, “Love Story for Eros”), I also had this shaaaat goin’ on:

I shot a commercial a couple weeks ago where, for the first time ever, I played a MOM.

…And I had not one, but three children. The oldest of which was probably about… eight. What’s up, people?! I’m 26. Do I not get to play teenagers anymore?! WHO AM I?!! HELP!!

But for real. The commercial shoot was really fun and the kids were great. I can’t wait to see how it turns out. When I wasn’t shooting, I hung out on the swing set and nomz-ed pretty hard on craft services. It was an awesome day of work.

As my time as a company member at Theatre Vertigo comes to a close, so does Vertigo’s tenure at the Theater!Theatre! building (located in SE Portland). After serving as a home to both Vertigo and Profile Theatre as resident companies for the past decade, Theater!Theatre! closes its doors. I didn’t expect to get too weepy during The Great Move weekend a couple of weeks back, but I definitely did. (In the privacy of my own car afterwards, but it still counts.) I was sad to say goodbye to that place. It made my departure with Vertigo and (my soon-to-be) with Portland seem much more real.

Taking apart the Arena Stage. :(

taking apart the Arena Stage. 😦

Some beautiful show debris I found under the theatre seats.

beautiful show debris I found under the theatre seats.

Some friends gather to say goodbye to the space.

some friends gather to say goodbye to the space.

and some more friends...

and some more friends…

...and even more friends.

…and even more friends.

But lucky me, I got to take home a part of the space!

6

This beautiful souvenir is now hanging on my wall. Along with the box office sign and the lobby sign and the green room sign. It’s possible I overdid it a bit. Whatever. I get sentimental.

Anyway.

Rehearsals for Portland Shakespeare Project‘s The Tamer Tamed have started!

tamer

This show runs as a staged reading in rep with PSP’s The Taming of the Shrew this summer and I am excited to for it to take off!

I got new headshots!  I can’t wait to see how they turned out. Liz and I did headshot sessions together with the ridiculously talented Gary Norman of Gary Norman Photography with the incredible, one-and-only Gavin Hoffman assisting. Pretty much, it was three of my favorite people in one place, which was stupid fun.

My boys Gavin and Gary, and their hot hot asses.

my boys Gavin and Gary, and their hot hot asses.

Everything is stupid fun right now.

Especially this Intergalactic Leopard dress I just bought.

dress

Total Life Upgrade. In epic dress form.

There is no more to say.

until next time,

~britt

‘MERICA!!

That’s right. From different corners of the world, with Dani in Leh, Ladakh, India and Britt in Portland, Oregon, USA, these Two Evil Actors would like to wish you a fun and safe Blow-Shit-Up-And-Eat-Barbequed-Meat-To-Celebrate-Freedom-Day, wherever you are geographically located! Happy 4th of July, ya Crazies. FUCK YEAH!

Let’s get all ‘MERICA up in here!

And, for a little holiday bonus, here is Dani and Britt circa Independence Day 2011. All you need to know is that we were participating in a themed bar crawl where our team dressed up as Charlie Sheen, His Angles, and Cocaine. D and I professed our undying love for each other in a back alley in Chinatown (PDX) while drunk people puked around us. I remember it being a beautiful moment. That’s friendship. That’s love. That’s ‘MERCIA.

this is what freedom looks like.

this is what freedom looks like.

Play safe kids. Until next time,

~britt & dani

dani gets lost in India

I met an Australian travel writer at Anand Prakash yoga ashram in Rishikesh who told me about a certain profession.  In this profession, your job is to go to India and bring home young Westerners who went to India on vacation and never came back.  Worried American mothers can hire this sort of bounty hunter to go track down their kid who went to India on some kind of spirit quest and ended up staying illegally as a Sadhu (often-stoned ascetic holy man) or otherwise finding an excuse never to leave this incredible country.  Keep your eye out for Nina Karnikowski’s book on this subject sometime in the next couple of years.  She kicks ass.  

Anyway the point is: Mom, I’m not saying you need to hire a bounty hunter quite yet, but I really fucking love it here. In my mind I was going to be blogging about India as I went, but I’ve been too lost in the experience of experiencing it to blog a whole lot.  But I promise I will do a lot more when time allows!  I think what I’ll do is a trip-in-a-nutshell  thing right now, and get deeper once I’m back in August.  It’s hard to want to spend a bunch of time tracking down an internet cafe and staying inside when there’s so much to see!

So here is one of the main things that I’ve learned so far:

 People are people.

1.

We arrived yesterday in Leh, Ladakh and were picked up at the airport by Kunzom and Chauldin, our hosts for the next month.  Kunzom is the sister of Khen Rinpoche, the founder of the Siddhartha School who invited Tarah to come to India in the first place, and who subsequently invited me to come to India.  Kunzom is a woman-about-town in her village of Stok and in the nearby countryside, doing treasury work for the government, helping villagers settle the distribution of land, taking classes from a nearby lama, and hosting  guests for her brother Rinpoche as he goes around the world making friends on behalf of the Dalai Lama and his beloved school.  

For people this amazing, it’s hard to imagine them being… normal.  But as we hung out in the family room last night, the sixteen-year-old daughter Chustik and the father Chauldin bickered over whether to watch the juicy drama or the cricket game on TV, and the mother Kunzom subtly moved closer to the TV whenever the Bollywood soap opera prevailed.  Dinner got started late, and although Tarah and I didn’t care and were enjoying th process of making vegetable “momos” by hand, the hostess was embarrassed and the host’s impish Ladakhi jokes made everyone giggle and kept the mood light, despite language barriers.

2.

As another example, the young yoga teacher at our ashram in Rishikesh was quite imposing with his uncompromising expertise, strict classes, and deep baritone voice.  Then I found out that he had gotten his undergraduate degree in Acting at SUNY Purchase with Michael, who is now one of my classmates at USC.  I was going to include some sweet media here, but I’m at an internet cafe in Ladakh and nothing is working now, hopefully I can still post this blog.  Imagine a hilarious picture of a Chinese-American yoga teacher/actor right here. 

3.

Kids are kids.  Before the flooding in Uttarakhand that decimated the banks of the Ganga and washed away the Shiva statue in Rishikesh, Tarah and I liked to go down to the river to play with Sanjee, my “little monster.”  He was pretty much the funnest.  It made me excited to come up here to Ladakh and spend more time with the kiddos.

Me swinging Sanjee

The most sobering part of knowing Sanjee, though, was knowing how unlikely it is that he will make it to adulthood.  He had a deep cough and lived along the river, and I don’t know what happened to him during the floods.  The water rose over the course of a few days, so I’m assuming his family was savvy enough to move uphill, but I don’t really know.

4.

Death is death.  In my opinion, Indians have a much healthier relationship with life and death than Americans.  Tarah and I were on a camel ride in Pushkar, and we saw a dog eating the entrails of a dead cow through his…well…you know.  Our camel guides, who happened to be 20-year-old boys dressed like hipsters straight out of Silver Lake, shrugged and kept moving.  We did the same.

But it wasn’t upsetting.  Life and death coexist here very honestly.   It causes pain, of course.  We made a friend who was telling us that he won’t go swimming because his friend unexpectedly drowned on a swimming outing, and the memory still causes him immense pain.  But death is part of life, and like life it has something to teach us. I don’t sense this sort of desperate need to cling to this life and make something of it hat I sense is fundamental to American culture. My running joke here is “YOLO… No wait… You Only Live Infinite Times Until You Reach Moksha.”

5.

Prayer is prayer, and Love is love.  We met a group of young American women in the Delhi airport traveling with Youth With a Mission, a Christian organization doing volunteer work abroad.  We had a really inspiring conversation with them about the bottomless nature of God’s love, and I thought about touching silence and bliss during Osho meditation in Rishikesh.  I thought about talking to an astrologer in Rishikesh about Jesus and Buddha and their lessons on love.  I thought about crying at the end of yoga class as something holy pulsed through my veins.  I thought about dancing with the kids at the Hare Krishna temple and sitting up late smoking cigarettes under the light of the full supermoon in Udaipur.  I thought about taking off my shoes and feeling the intricate marble work at a Jain temple that took 69 years and hundreds of lifetimes to build.  As my mind flashed back to the present moment the Christian girls in the airport were asking Tarah and I if they could pray with us.  Why not, I thought.  Prayer is prayer. 

Anyway, like I said I was going to include a lot of sweet media in this post, but technology has thwarted me, so I’m going to stop here. Tarah and I start teaching regularly at the Siddartha School tomorrow morning, and we’ll be working with the kids for a couple of weeks, until the school hosts a big celebration for it’s 20th anniversary and then the kids go on summer break for a couple of weeks.  Not sure what we’ll do after that, but that’s okay!  Who knows??  More news to come!

Lots of love and light and joy and stuff,

Dani