someday we will be reliable and consistent. like your poops.

Trying to get Britt and I to do something with any level of consistency is like trying to tutor a puppy in math. 

Actually I do that. Only with children, not puppies. 

No difference.

P.S. I literally just google imaged searched “puppy math” and this was the first thing that popped up: sadpuppy2 AHHHHhahahaha!! That puppy doesn’t know how to use that calculator!! SOMEBODY TEACH IT!!

AHHHH hahaaa, I KNOW!!!

…Okay okay, okay, but truly — trying to get Dani and I to do something with any level of consistency is like trying to teach a horse how to ride a bicycle. 

Why would a horse need a bicycle?  Horses are faster than bicycles to begin with. 

I don’t know about that. 

Dude have you ever googled “horse bicycle”?? It’s awesome!!

Horscycle. As old as time itself.

Horscycle. As old as time itself.

Horscycle. Available today!

Horscycle. Available today!

horse

Horses CAN ride bicycles. We need a new metaphor for this post.

That unicorn made that bike its bitch.

That unicorn made that bike its bitch.

Weren’t we supposed to be talking about something? (…And way to out-do me with Ye Olde Google Image Search, Dani, you asshole.) 

Hehehe I AM THE GOOGLE MASTER!!  ….Ahem. CONSISTENCY!!  Like the kind you experience when you take Metamucil every day or the consistency of what happens every time you stick a paperclip into a power outlet. 

Ah, yes. That. Trying to get Dani and I to do anything with consistency is like….

KnifeSocket

Make this stop.

…Does this visual metaphor even make sense anymore? Also, I saved this image on my desktop as “KnifeSocket”.

BRITT!!

What?! DANI!!!

We have an important message to share. This is the whole reason why we are trying (and failing) to write this post in the first place… so that we may write other posts!! And eventually take over the world!!

Sigh. Yes. Discipline. Consistency. Being a (*stifled laugh*) Grown-Up. Blah blah.

We, Dani Larson (and *stifled laugh* Britt Harris) vow to be better Evil Twins and to bring you more consistent Evil Blog Posts starting now, this Month of March, in this Year of Our Lord, 2015. 

And if we fail, we will still crawling come back to you. Remember how we posted three times a week for a year then straight-up didn’t post for fifty-two weeks after that??

Yeah. We remember that too. 

We will do better.

(c) The Incredible Allie Brosh

(c) The Incredible Allie Brosh

Because we love you.

(c) The Incredible Allie Brosh

(c) The Incredible Allie Brosh

And we love us.

(c) The Incredible Allie Brosh

(c) The Incredible Allie Brosh

See you next time we do stuff. 

WHICH WILL BE SOON. 

Mark. Our. Words. 

Love,

Dani & Britt