You guys. First of all I’ve gotta be up front in that I just went through a breakup and I’m in a mild pit of despair. I’m hoping it will only increase the hilarity of this blog.
Second of all, I’ve been learning SO MANY THINGS lately. I’m like a learning machine. AKA a robot. A sad empty robot. FULL OF KNOWLEDGE.
What’s a Three Play Rep, you ask? Pay attention betches. ‘Bout to graduate from USC up in this bitch. Just completed a five-week run of The Seagull, The Servant of Two Masters, and Blood Match. That’s right. 5 roles. 3 plays. 5 weeks. 24 shows. 100% awesome. …Well mostly.
Needless to say, on Saturday I drank a half a bottle of tequila before noon, made brunch for 8 people which I was then too drunk to eat, did some very bad drunk gardening during which I probably accidentally killed a lot of plants, built a slip n’ slide in the backyard with my best friends, got a tattoo, and spent the night in Pasadena watching House of Cards. But we are not here to talk about my drunken post-Master’s-thesis-just-went-through-a-breakup exploits. We’re here to talk about acting. But check out this rad shit.
#WINNING. Did you see Britt‘s form at the end?? WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE.
Anyway. Acting. As Britt and I always say,
EVERYTHING. Everything in your human experience is valid. And in fact invalidating any part of what you are going through is only going to make you feel crazy and/or self-loathing which is ultimately not constructive creatively or personally. And that is one of the many things that life has taught me lately.
To do three plays at once, ((one of which was playing Nina in The Seagull, which alone is enough to drive a woman mad)) and to not ACTUALLY lose my mind, was pretty exciting to me. I’ve been training for three years, which really is just an ongoing process of cultivating deep self-awareness, and it was gratifying to know that that training, that self-awareness, is always there to support me.
As my dear friend Suzanna was saying yesterday, life is not linear, it’s lateral. It continues in all directions at all times, despite our attempt to make it seem linear by putting it into words. Life is not going to stop suddenly so that you have time to make your “perfect” art. Life is going to continue and you are going to have to figure out how to deal with it and how to incorporate it into your self and into your work. Because after all, if you’re an actor the only thing you have is you, and that means…
So sometimes you’ll find yourself in a pit of despair at the same time that you find yourself at the pinnacle of your work. I’m so proud of what I’ve accomplished in this Master’s program, and so excited to take that work into the future and accomplish more things. I’m full of joy and celebration. I’m also full of fear and sadness. But all of that is mine to own, and it’s all relevant and valid. Relevalid if you will.
Ah yes. I shall always remember those pre-show hours with my head covered in hot metal and plastic. …Like a robot. A sad, empty robot.