You guys. First of all I’ve gotta be up front in that I just went through a breakup and I’m in a mild pit of despair. I’m hoping it will only increase the hilarity of this blog. Second of all, … Continue reading
Dude. So before, when Britt and I talked about being gypsies, I was being somewhat facetious. I mean, yes, I do tend to move around a lot and I do really feel like myself when I’m traveling, but am I really a gypsy?
I mean, technically I’m not. Technically I’m German and Swedish and Irish. But let’s think about this for a second! Humanity started in Africa, right? So my ancestors migrated from Africa so far North into the cold frigid Northern European lands that they lost all the pigment in their skin and became weird crazy Albino humans. You know, like me and Britt.
Then they got pissed off from being so damn cold all the time and so got on some boats, put on some silly hats, and pillaged a bunch of other people. Even then they weren’t satisfied, so they moved all the way across the Atlantic Ocean to America. And THEN my predecessors STILL were too antsy to stay put and migrated all the way across the continent to the wild wild West. So maybe my ancestors weren’t gypsies but they were some nomadic mofos!
Don’t look at me like that gypsy-Johnny! I’m not trying to insult you! This is SCIENCE, yo! ………Okay let me try another angle on this……
I would be lying if I tried to say that the movie Chocolat is not, to this day, one of my favorite movies. Maybe it doesn’t have the reputation of The Godfather, but it does star Juliette Binoche, Judi Dench, Lena Olin, Alfred Molina, and Johnny Depp, which is an incredible lineup. In case you haven’t seen it, it’s about a French/Mayan woman with a nomadic soul who moves to a conservative French town and tries to open a Chocolaterie. Of course, she meets a gypsy and falls in love, blah blah blah.
But watching this movie as a kid, the thing that called to me most achingly from the movie was the concept of this North Wind. Whenever the North Wind blew, something in (the main character) Vianne’s bones told her it was time to move on to the next place, and she packed her bags and moved on, forever. It was a sort of blessing and a curse: She had to abandon any relationships she’d built, but she also got to fulfill this deep primal urge to move on to whatever’s next.
When I was a kid in Boise, my absolute favorite time of year was the Fall. Literally, the North Wind started blowing: the air turned crisp and fresh, the leaves turned, and their was a sense of campfires, hot cider, and impending winter on the way. The winds of change started blowing, a new school year began, and the frigid winds promised that snow and holidays would eventually come.
Extrapolating this out to my adult life, for the past two years, I can’t seem to stay in one place for more than three months, on average. At first I blamed it on circumstances of living situations, on being in my 20’s, whatever. But this Spring I came to realize that, damn. It might just be Me. I think it’s in my blood.
Awwww Thanks, empathetic Oprah! You’re the best. But as soon at March 20, 2013 rolled around, Spring officially became the Season in season, the Santa Ana winds started up in LA, and I started feeling antsy as fuck.
It makes no sense. I LOVE everything I am doing. Lately, the ole Grad Program has been piling on material, and every time I get another scene or sonnet or project or whatever to work on, I get a sick pleasure out of adding it to the pile of stuff to memorize. But another part of me is waking up in the morning and making the same damn drive to the same damn parking structure and trying to force myself to eat the same damn healthy foods and be such a good girl with such good habits and LOSING MY MIND. Routine is killing me.
I’ve come to realize that I literally have NO habits. Good or Bad. I have tics, maybe, mannerisms, but habits? Not really. I think I am incapable of doing something consistently. I can do anything with a Puritanical discipline for two or three weeks. Then I get bored and distracted and feel restricted. So I guess I have a bad habit of not having good habits. Or I habitually break habits.
But here’s the thing that this realization has helped me realize… (Shut up, y’all, I didn’t major in English.) I can actually turn this quirk to my advantage! You know why? Because there are only 3 1/2 weeks left in the semester!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!
If you had talked to me a week ago, or even two days ago, you would have encountered an antsy, dissatisfied, grumpy chick whose mind already had flown across the globe to India. But no more! Today I am re-framing my life: 3 1/2 more weeks of hard work, then 3 weeks of preparation, then 8 weeks of India!! I can do anything with Puritanical discipline for 3 weeks, remember? So maybe that’s the secret for me. I’ve just gotta bite off life in 3 week chunks, so I can really be present in devoting myself to whatever I am doing. It is incredibly empowering to me to acknowledge the fact that, maybe my inner nomad starts to call to me with the change of seasons, but that also gives me all this great energy to pour into my work.
So with that said, I have no choice but to leave you with this song. I’m not a huge Bruce Springsteen fan, but baby, I was born to run.
Sometimes it’s hard to remember how things start. Often, if I trace a thought or conversation back far enough, I astound myself by the seemingly arbitrary moment that spurred the whole thing down a rabbit hole of crucial experience. I think about this a lot with relationships too. Like how I met Dani.
I don’t remember the first moment of meeting my best friend. I just remember, as a junior at the University of Portland, one of my comrades telling me that a rockstar freshman drama/music student was in the performing arts department now. She was beautiful. She was talented. She was outgoing. She was hilarious. She was… blond.
“It’s like… she’s you! But younger.”
See, I (Dani) showed up at University of Portland and everyone kept calling me Britt because it is very easy to confuse the two of us. I simply did not argue with the mixup, because I was totally flattered.
I didn’t know how to take that at the time. How could I? Me, a 20-year-old girl defending her drama turf? Come ON, people!! But let’s just say… it didn’t take me long to discover that this beautiful, talented, hilarious, blond… FORCE…was the other part of my very SOUL.
Dude. I wish I could see myself through Britt’s eyes sometimes because I am SERIOUSLY not that cool. And Britt, if you edit this out later Imma mail you a box full of poop. Goddamnit.
Also, we have to stop jacking each other off! Everyone already knows we’re in love! Okay, okay.
Nearly every moment is a beginning for something. A reason to make something, connect with someone, find a new piece of yourself.
So how did this blog begin? Let me take you down the rabbit hole, by sharing something that is relevant to the mission statement of twoevilactors in that we talk about acting career stuff.
(Britt and Dani have a bitter bitching session over g-chat, instead of actually doing their office jobs.)
May 17, 2012, 1:11 PM
Dani: dude. I just went on an “audition” and I am real frustrated. it was for a commercial.
Britt: oh gaaawwwd
don’t worry, i totally suck at those too
I’m just Awkward City all over the place.
Dani: I don’t know what it is! Oh my god that makes me feel better.
It’s just YUCKY and AWKWARD
and it makes me feel so inadequate for no reason.
Britt: i feel the SAME way. seriously. every. single. time. and yet somehow, sometimes, the job works out.
Dani: It just feels like… “Why am I here? What do they want?”
Britt: what was it for?
Dani: It was for a sports commercial. I got the audition because I ski. But they had us come in tight athletic wear and I just kept thinking that instead of looking at my yoga pants and analyzing my thigh thickness they should put me in a god damn parka and watch me ski.
See, I would watch THAT commercial.
Dani: lol. GAWD. thanks for listening, babe. I was SO stressed out by this nonsense.
And it paid SO WELL. And I can never get that out of my head when I’m there. “Omigod this job is for SO much money and i’m sooo broke”
Britt: oh sweetie!! i’m sorry you were stressed. I know, the money thing is really hard to get past. it will sabotage you if you’re not careful. i can’t stop thinking that any time i have a callback for guest star for a TV show or something… totally ruins it, makes me get in my head if I think about it. money sucks. being poor is pretty fun, right?
Dani: It’s just comforting to know that you have these thoughts too, you know.
Dude you and I are ALL OVER the internet right now.
Britt: I KNOW!!!
Dani: g-chat, gmail, fbook
Britt: WELCOME TO MY PRODUCTIVE WORKDAY
…IF THEY ONLY KNEW!
Dani: This is it!!!!!! Why do they pay me?
OH my god trying so hard not to laugh at my desk
Britt: ME TOO
let’s move to LA now and go to the beach
(11 minutes later. Britt and Dani decide to start a blog and Britt returns a weird collection of items which she borrowed from Dani.)
May 17, 2012, 1:22 PM
Dani: Scroll to the bottom of this blog post and watch the video myfavoriteandmybest.com
Britt: is this the blog you were telling me about? i’m going to follow it
Dani: It is! Oh it’s so good!
What are some of yours that you follow?
(Britt proceeds to list quite a number of blogs)
Britt: yaaay bloooggsss
you are so awesome to have a blog. i always think i would absolutely suck at it
Dani: Thanks man. It’d be cooler if I was more on top of it. I’ve kind of lost the sense of what my niche is.
I don’t think you would suck at it at all! I would LOVE to read your blog!
I bet it would be hilarious.
Britt: hahaha yeaaahh…
we should have a joint LA blog when the time comes
who WOULDN’T wanna follow that shit?!
Dani: It would be badass! And soooo confusing to those who don’t know us.
Dani: We could both be the evil twin.
Britt: ooooo love the way you think
Dani: It would probably be equal parts diabolical and inspirational.
like you. and me.
Britt: i agree
i love us. it’s dumb how much i love us.
Dani: hahahaha!!! I love this idea!!!
Britt: ME TOO!!!
oh! and don’t let me forget to give you a bunch of your crap from my apt tonight! i don’t want to forget since i will be staying in this other place all week
Dani: oh yeah!
Britt: you know… in case you need your stapler… or strainer… or boob cutlets… all of which i have…HAHA
I actually do need all of those things.
So I can have big tits while straining and stapling.
….that sounds like a weird porn.
million dollar idea right there
dammit D, I am supposed to be working!!
i am so bad at working…
god we are the worst
Dani: haha! yeah okay I REALLY have to work now.
Britt: ok ok me too!! talk later !! xo
And thus, the seed was planted. The idea was born. Two and a half months later Dani left for Los Angeles. Five months after that, we started this blog.
Yup, I love this girl.
Back at ya, strainer-tits.
Hello bloggernetsphere, I am Britt.
And I am Dani. We are lady-gypsy-actors. And we have things to say.
…Mostly to each other, but we hope that you will take something from our thoughts too. We are pursuing careers in a field with no roadmap. This is frightening, exhilarating, confusing, and liberating, and we are so thankful to have each other as partners in crime. We are adventurers.
Since the creative lives we have chosen have no roadmap, we hope that this blog will serve as both a survival guide and an invitation to come on this adventure with us.
Meet my friend Britt. She is a blond powerhouse of a woman who is simultaneously hilarious and deep, witty and crude, awkward and beautiful; a wayward wanderer and the most loyal of friends. She’s pretty much the most charming person I’ve ever met and she is the sun that lights up my world. Britt is currently living in Portland, Oregon and conquering the world of indie film, fearless theatre, and artistic badass-ery in the Pacific Northwest. Check out her website at www.brittharris.com for deets on her professional life. Check out this blog for all the juicy stuff.
Meet my Dani. She is my beautiful chosen-sister, hero, and finisher-of-sentences. Her fearless spirit, immense talent, and infinite love for this world inspires me daily. My favorite thing about her? How she can make me laugh until I pee. My least favorite thing about her? That she lives so far away from me. Dani is currently located in Los Angeles as grad student and Resident Super Hero at USC, pursuing her MFA in Acting. She works approximately 935 hours a week and could tame a unicorn with relative ease.
Thanks for tuning in! We look forward to sharing our adventures with you.
With love from your new partners in crime who are both the Evil twin,
two evil actors