I am now on my third week of real post-grad-school life. Just kidding. It’s more like Here is the highlights reel of Dani’s life post-graduation. I was going to do a graduation post but the sweetest best friend a girl … Continue reading
…Well, I suppose that TECHNICALLY this is my 29th trip around the sun, but Earth Culture assures me that I am 28 years of age. My Saturn is returning. And all that stuff. Planetary. Thank you, Neil.
And now, today, on this, the 4th Day of the Month of May (it rhymes!), about 7 weeks after my actual, special Friday-the-13th birthday (whoops), and about 970 weeks since my last post (sorry), here are a few things to catch you up on in the incredibly not-boring goings-on of my life:
1.) I’ve got Homes in Different Zip Codes.
Read as: “Vagabond”.
I currently reside in Park La Brea, Altadena and Echo Park (I promise you I am not joking), with pit-stops in places like Culver City, Silverlake, and Hancock Park in between. What can I say? My sterling house-sitting reputation precedes me. As a wandering artist subletting her room, I am not complaining.
2.) Continuing on with the vagabond theme: I’ve been on more airplanes this year than ever. (And I hate flying.)
… I think I’m getting better at the whole flying thing, though. I’ve got a supplement-popping, face-covering, booze-in-flight drinking system that works for me, so don’t worry about it.
‘Cuase let’s be real. I’m not flirting with that bitch mono again.
I just got back from Arizona International Film Festival in Tucson, where Birds of Neptune won the award for Best Dramatic Feature!! Holy CRAP! And if that wasn’t an honor enough, the film was also selected to screen again on the final night of the festival for the “Best of Fest” celebration. …An encore screening? Yes, please!! Thank you, Tucson! 😀
Up next on the festival trail? Mammoth Lakes Film Fest at the end of the May. Hopefully you’ll be seeing me all over the globe promoting this film. This is just the beginning! 😀
WOOOOAAAA! I am on cloud 9 from this, truly. Tucson was such a special, surreal, magical place, and this recognition is such an incredible honor.
5.) I still self-employed and loving it.
6.) Dani and I went aboard The Queen Mary to witness the marriage of our dear college friend Hillary:
…Which made me think that perhaps I should live on a boat at some point in my life. Because, COME ON.
So, basically — Two Evil Actors, the Content Creators, are stampeding your way SOON, betch!! Mark my words! FEAR US!
8.) I am writing a lot of music these days. I hope to record my stuff later this year, so I will keep you posted on that. All of this material is all super personal to me so it is SCAAAAARY. Which obviously means that I have to do it. 9.) Speaking of recording music, I had the opportunity to record music with my very talented brother for the first time in March.I was lucky enough to be in Seattle for an audition when my brother Nate and my cousin Cameron were recording the first EP for Nate’s music duo, NW Passage. (Think of Nate Harris as the Ryan Lewis to NW Passage’s Macklemore. He is a genius.) They asked me to record vocals on some of the tracks. It was SO fun.
Look! Cute photos of me and bro in the studio!
10.) STILL speaking of recording music– I have finished recording basic vocals for the first No Vanquished album! It won’t be long now ’til we release and UNLEASH this music into the world!
And I am in a constant state of reconciling this emotional and geographical dissonance.
12.) I took a few covert Portland visits this year to feed my heart.
Short and sweet and sad, it hurts me a bit to come back to Portland now. It confuses me and makes me wonder where I am supposed to be. I don’t think it will always be that way, but…. what is it they say in that one song?
Yeah, something like that.
Anyway. My heart is in Portland. Y’all knew that.
13.) Surprise, Mom! I got a new tattoo. I was born ass-first on Friday the 13th (it ALL makes sense now, right?!) and my birthday happened to fall on Friday the 13th this year. So, naturally, I needed to get a Friday the 13th tattoo.
I must note that Dani and our good friend and housemate Raisa got Friday the 13th tatts that day as well. Because we are part of a gang.
14.) I am officially the USC MFA program’s biggest stage-mom. I could not be more proud of my Dani, who recently completed her THREE SHOW REP (AND NY & LA Showcase!), each of which, I saw two times. Trust me, I would have seen these shows every night they were running if I could clone myself. This girl inspires me everyday. True to her nature and talent, Dani killed it in each show with every character she lived in, but her portrayal of Nina in The Seagull especially took my breath away.
Nina is SUCH a difficult role to nail, you guys, and it takes a REALLY gifted, insightful, brave, and effective actor to be able to play the arc of this role. It was one of the most incredible performances onstage I have ever seen and I wish I could show each and every one of you her incredible work. I feel stupid even talking about it because I can’t quite find the words to quite articulate how much I look up to my best friend and how proud of her I am.
So, I’ll just dumb-it down by saying: “YOU ARE AMAZING, DANI!!”
15.) As if the film fests I am already going to haven’t been enough, I decided to party-crash a good chunk of the Newport Beach Film Festival with my new Aussie friends that I met at the Arizona International Film Fest.
I drank a lot and ate a lot and consumed 7 s’mores at one event and had a very nice time, thank you.
Also, I felt fancy.
16.) I am really itching to travel. I hope that the stars align to grant me an international trip (or five) this year. I think the odds may be in my favor.
(Come on, come oonnnnn Birds of Neptune International Premiere..!!)
17.) I’ve decided that I really want a pet but am truly TOO VAGABONDY and poor to be a good dog or cat mom (see #1 & #2 above).
18.) SO I’ve made many new dog friends around town. (Also my ulterior motive for all of the house-sitting I do.)
21.) Okay… uhh.. god… thinking of 28 things is actually pretty hard… let’s see, um.. ….I’ve been eating a LOT of pizza lately? Like, a lot?
25.) Okay, let’s get real here for a second. Because 2EA believes in that shit.
After all, we are real humans with real feelings.
So… sigh. Okay.
Though the external evidence of this post may suggest otherwise, I have a pretty sad heart right now. For the first time in, well, ever, I am unclear of what is next. My internal compass, which is usually pretty strong, is not so strong right now. I don’t know what it’s supposed to mean or what I am supposed to do. I feel sad and scared and slightly stupid. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain and weird to talk about. Depression has been a thing. Top Tier / Grade A / Boss-Level Heartbreak has been a thing. Crippling anxiety spiral has been a thing.
And yet, here I am. Still bravely loving, still going hard at my dream, still refusing the conventional day job…
I am doing my best. I know that one day I’ll crack the happy code. One day I won’t feel so misplaced and scattered and alone-on-an-island-y.
Luckily, I have learned more about myself and what I truly want out of life during these weird heart times. I’ve had to make some really hard decisions, decisions that more often than not have left me with the exact opposite outcome of what I thought I wanted, and through this, I am learning to trust. I am learning to trust my instincts and the order of the Universe. I am learning to breathe into my decisions and into my follow-through. To tell those I love that I love them. To not expect anything back. To be vulnerable. To be a voice of reason. To be a hard-ass. To be a softy. To be what I need for myself in this moment. To acknowledge that no one and nothing is forever, yet allow myself to take comfort in the feeling that some people and some things never truly leave.
Perhaps knowing what I want has somehow made the path I travel seem more indirect or treacherous. Maybe I’ve finally realized the true challenge of committing myself 100% to living the life I want. This is not a life of allowing cop-outs and stifling my feelings and feeling obligated and beating myself up. I realize now that there is nothing more challenging (and more important) than taking care of myself and taking care of my sweet dear heart in the same way that I wish to take care of those I love. It’s no easy thing.
And let’s be real, being a human is just fucking hard.
26.) I’ve also had the feeling that this year may be the kick-off to some very important self-discovery:
I’ve discovered that I feel the most myself when I am on the move. In transit. Exploring. Adventuring. Wandering (I’m sure you’ve picked up that vibe in this post so far). This is also when I feel the most lonely.
There is still so much to discover within myself and sometimes (most of the time) that internal terrain is so rocky. I cry every time I am in an airport. Every. TIME. It’s an odd feeling: always leaving the ones I love, always coming back, this weird ping-pong sensation — but there is truly no feeling that compares to the huge hug feeling from a loved one upon arrival or departure — that pure happycryjoy or happycrylonging –that is the shit that makes me feel alive.
Sweet sweet incredible Dani threw me a surprise party the night of my birthday in March and I seriously had no idea. I felt so loved.
28.) Let me say it again: I have the very best friends in the world. We build slip-n-slides in our backyard out of trash bags, tarp, and baby oil.
In closing, so far, 28 is looking like this: A little bit scary. A lotta bit fun. I may accidentally sprain an ankle trying to get a running start down that Big Slippery Blue Tarp of Life, or belly flop in a way that fucking HURTS and knocks the wind out of me, and I may cry about it for a while, or curl up in the fetal position for a sec, but I will always get up.
And, let’s just call it like we see it, folks: Really. I don’t even take that shit off for slip-n-slides.
Thank you for reading, friends. And for your love and support in my life. You keep me going. ❤
Holy moley. Did we have a year, or WHAT, Dani?!
Holy shitballs, Britt. It was crazy. What do you think was the craziest thing we did in 2013?
Start this blog, obviously.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BLOG-MATE!!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, TWIN-WIN!!
Today is the One Year Anniversary of Two Evil Actors, and we thought this would be a good moment to take a look back at 2013 for a little highlights tour. To get a juicy, in-depth look at the crazy shit that happened to us this year, click on the sexy pink hyperlinks. Obviously, the first stop on this tour is…
NANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yo, Britt, did you know that those were the words to the Lion King song?
Yes. Because I know ALL of the words to The Lion King. All the lines, and all of the lyrics.
Damn, dude, I’m impressed. I always thought it was “Ahhhh svegenya swuhduhgee vuhdada!!” Turns out the lyrics are Zulu for “Here comes a lion, Father.”
Of course it is.
Well. Now that THAT’S cleared up. We’ve veered off course as usual.
BACK ON TRACK, EVIL MOFOS. And now for… (drumroll please) THE YEAR 2013 IN REVIEW:
… but in a healthy, Internet kind of way.
…in a losing-my-mind, grad school kind of way. WINNING.
I came out of the closet about my secret dream to move to LA… but moved into my little brother’s frat boy basement like a real adult first.
This was MOMENTOUS for me. Now I can check my email FROM MY CELL PHONE. What will they think of next?
10 life-points earned!
Girl, that’s like 1000 life points. Truth be told, my girl was involved in too many badass projects in 2013 to even include all of them here. My sista found some great collaborators and art-ed all over the place. HELL yeah.
Apparently I had to go to grad school in order to learn how to be an adult. Just trying to whip myself into shape here, people.
Watch out, Society. Total World Domination = Imminent.
I promise you– I am not making this shit up.
There is no way I can sum up that two months of my life. All I can say is that it was incredibly life-changing.
Everything will be okay.
Ewww not really. That would be incest. But we did have a blast playing “the googlesearch game,” AKA What-the-hell-are-people-looking-for-when-they-stumble-upon-our-blog. Turns out, people google some weeeeeiiirrd shit.
And it feels so good.
I had a hard time adjusting to being back in the United States. I smoothed the transition with alcohol and had an EPIC August in Los Angeles.
I got drunk on a spaceship. Truth.
It was a weird Fall. Incorporating my experiences in India into my life in Los Angeles, Writing a one-woman show, Rehearsing a million things for grad school…. WHO AM I??
I have the time of my life working on an incredible show at Artists Repertory Theatre.
That’s right. Everything. I find out that I’m essentially allergic to wheat, corn, dairy, sesame, sunshine, and air.
We’re everybody’s favorite shitshow.
Check out that sex-machine. I got to play a boy in The Time of Your Life and act my ass off in a bunch of other stuff at USC. Confession: I kinda miss having a dick.
I’m Queen of the Urban Jungle, baby. Or–at least–the Queen of being Dirt-Ass Broke.
Wow. Between the two of us there were some super high highs, some super low lows, and just about everything in between. I have to say though, I am so proud of the resilience and strength of my Britt, because she had one topsy-turvy year. That is a lot of artistic creation and a lot of major life change for one person in one year.
And I could not be more proud of my Dani girl. Her passion, bravery, and big open heart led her halfway across the world for a quarter of a year to immerse herself in a different culture and way of life, and those same Dani qualities inspired her to create bold and beautifully honest work in her intensive program at USC in 2013. That is a lot of artistic creation and a self-discovery for one person in one year.
As for myself, it’s hard to map the subtle changes that have taken place in me over the past year, but from where I’m standing, my internal terrain has shifted drastically. I feel more honest, more myself, than I have ever felt. For better or for worse.
And from a Britt perspective, a Brittspective, this year has transformed me more than any other. It inspired me and shook me to my core. I have felt broken, I have been afraid, I have had moments of extreme clarity and have been surrounded with more love than I have ever experienced. And although I am far from having it all figured out, 2013 has made me the luckiest woman I know and I am so, so thankful.
In my opinion, we did 2013 right, even if we didn’t know what we were doing half of the time.
Yeah, that seems about right.
Let’s ride that Furry Tractor of Badassedry right into 2014.
Bring it ON 2014!!
We love you guys.
~ dani & britt
I need to publically proclaim my unconditional, undying love for the incredible Dani Larson. Dani is my best friend, my sister, the co-author of this blog, and the woman of my heart! We may get married someday, who knows. She is my soul mate. Just saying. So step off, biatches!!
And I am just gushing with love for her on this fine day, her BIRTHDAY!! Please join me in wishing this very special human the most amazing birthday ever!!
Dani, you mean the world to me. I would not be the person I am today without your influence in my life. I am humbled and made giddy by your presence in my life daily. Thank you for being fucking AWESOME.
So! Today! You MUST:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY DANI GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All of my love, forever & ever,
~your britt (and the WHOLE Internet world who is voyeuristically tuning into this post right now)
You guys. I’ve changed.
…I turned 26 this past Wednesday.
26!! What does this MEAN?!
Will I not get called in for teenage roles anymore? Can I no longer say I’m in my early-20’s?! Oh my GAWWWWW!!
…But for real. This 26-year-old monster could not be more pumped to tear shit up this year. 2013 has already been an amazing year of personal growth and adventure–and now I get to start my own Personal New-Year! Birthdays are the best.
(PLUS my girl Dani gave me the best bday present ever. You know your life is fail-proof after experiencing love like that. GAHH, Dani! Come back to PDX and get into my arms immediately!!)
I spent my bday this year doing what I love to do the most. 12 hours of it! On-set birthdays are the best, you guys. At lunch break that day, my Birds of Neptune family surprised me with a big ‘ol chocolate cake (they must have picked up on the whole chocoholic thing, as I stuff my pockets full of candy each time I visit the crafty table) and birthday merriment.
In case you were wondering, I did eat most of that cake myself. It was delicious. Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting with chocolate gooey goodness inside and chocolate sprinkles…Mmmm. And you know what, I needed all the sugar and caffeine I could get to push me through this week of intensity…
Let me recap!
We wrapped Week 2 of principal photography for Steven Richter’s feature film, Birds of Neptune this Friday. To quickly sum up this week and its effects: Five days straight of 12-16 hours of work on set + dark material = weekend hibernation land. And some crying. …But it feels good. Only six full days left…I kind of wish I could live in this routine forever.
I also had auditioning-with-blue-hair fun this week:
…It’s not easy being blue.
IT’S TRUE!! *sob*
Anyway. What was I talking about?
Oh yeah. Auditions!
With the intense shooting schedule for BON this week, I must admit it was a bit stressful to rush off set during my lunch break and change into audition-appropriate clothes, pull my hair back to mask as much of the blue as possible, shake the world and character I had been living in, and all the while expect myself to be a charming, functional human being in the audition room. BUT. All of that mess was awesome too. I felt like a total badass to stay so busy and on track with my goals. I owe the crew & production team of BON my life for being so flexible with me and my shenanigans. I love those guys.
This week also brought the excitement of starting a project with these two:
The incredible team that is model/actress Mia Allen and writer/filmmaker AJ Brooks is in pre-production for a new episodic project. Stay tuned. The soon-to-be-on-screen-duo of Britt & Mia will be super rad.
And the mailman brought me my new super-legit business cards this week! Ka-blam!
So yeah… I must say… 26 is treating me pretty damn good so far. I am lucky to be surrounded by so many amazing, supportive, talented and passionate people every day…
…And that’s all the mush you’ll get out of me. Back to the normal Britt-programming:
Cats and poop, CATS AND POOP!!
Damn, it feels good to be 26.