the beginning.

Sometimes it’s hard to remember how things start. Often, if I trace a thought or conversation back far enough, I astound myself by the seemingly arbitrary moment that spurred the whole thing down a rabbit hole of crucial experience. I think about this a lot with relationships too. Like how I met Dani.

I don’t remember the first moment of meeting my best friend. I just remember, as a junior at the University of Portland, one of my comrades telling me that a rockstar freshman drama/music student was in the performing arts department now. She was beautiful. She was talented. She was outgoing. She was hilarious. She was… blond.

“It’s like… she’s you! But younger.”


See, I (Dani) showed up at University of Portland and everyone kept calling me Britt because it is very easy to confuse the two of us.  I simply did not argue with the mixup, because I was totally flattered.

I didn’t know how to take that at the time. How could I? Me, a 20-year-old girl defending her drama turf? Come ON, people!! But let’s just say… it didn’t take me long to discover that this beautiful, talented, hilarious, blond… FORCE…was the other part of my very SOUL.

Dude.  I wish I could see myself through Britt’s eyes sometimes because I am SERIOUSLY not that cool.  And Britt, if you edit this out later Imma mail you a box full of poop.  Goddamnit.

Also, we have to stop jacking each other off!  Everyone already knows we’re in love! Okay, okay.

But anyway.

Nearly every moment is a beginning for something. A reason to make something, connect with someone, find a new piece of yourself.

So how did this blog begin? Let me take you down the rabbit hole, by sharing something that is relevant to the mission statement of twoevilactors in that we talk about acting career stuff.

Part 1

(Britt and Dani have a bitter bitching session over g-chat, instead of actually doing their office jobs.)

 May 17, 2012, 1:11 PM

Dani:  dude. I just went on an “audition” and I am real frustrated. it was for a commercial.

Britt:  oh gaaawwwd

don’t worry, i totally suck at those too


I’m just Awkward City all over the place.

Dani: I don’t know what it is! Oh my god that makes me feel better.

It’s just YUCKY and AWKWARD

and it makes me feel so inadequate for no reason.

Britt: i feel the SAME way. seriously. every. single. time. and yet somehow, sometimes, the job works out.

Dani: It just feels like… “Why am I here? What do they want?”

Britt: what was it for?

Dani: It was for a sports commercial. I got the audition because I ski.  But they had us come in tight athletic wear and I just kept thinking that instead of looking at my yoga pants and analyzing my thigh thickness they should put me in a god damn parka and watch me ski.


See, I would watch THAT commercial.

Dani: lol. GAWD. thanks for listening, babe. I was SO stressed out by this nonsense.

And it paid SO WELL. And I can never get that out of my head when I’m there. “Omigod this job is for SO much money and i’m sooo broke”

Britt: oh sweetie!! i’m sorry you were stressed. I know, the money thing is really hard to get past. it will sabotage you if you’re not careful. i can’t stop thinking that any time i have a callback for guest star for a TV show or something… totally ruins it, makes me get in my head if I think about it. money sucks. being poor is pretty fun, right?

Dani: It’s just comforting to know that you have these thoughts too, you know.

Dude you and I are ALL OVER the internet right now.

Britt: I KNOW!!!

Dani: g-chat, gmail, fbook



Dani: This is it!!!!!! Why do they pay me?


OH my god trying so hard not to laugh at my desk

Britt: ME TOO


let’s move to LA now and go to the beach

Dani: okay!


Britt: sweet.

Part 2

(11 minutes later. Britt and Dani decide to start a blog and Britt returns a weird collection of items which she borrowed from Dani.)

May 17, 2012, 1:22 PM

Dani: Scroll to the bottom of this blog post and watch the video

Britt: is this the blog you were telling me about? i’m going to follow it

Dani: It is! Oh it’s so good!

What are some of yours that you follow?

(Britt proceeds to list quite a number of blogs)

Dani: oooOOOOOOOooooooo

Britt: yaaay bloooggsss

you are so awesome to have a blog. i always think i would absolutely suck at it

Dani: Thanks man. It’d be cooler if I was more on top of it. I’ve kind of lost the sense of what my niche is.

I don’t think you would suck at it at all!  I would LOVE to read your blog!

I bet it would be hilarious.

Britt: hahaha yeaaahh…

we should have a joint LA blog when the time comes

who WOULDN’T wanna follow that shit?!

Dani: YES

Britt: hehehe

Dani: It would be badass! And soooo confusing to those who don’t know us.

Britt: YES!!

Dani: We could both be the evil twin.

Britt: ooooo love the way you think

Dani: It would probably be equal parts diabolical and inspirational.

like you. and me.

Britt: i agree


i love us. it’s dumb how much i love us.

Dani: hahahaha!!! I love this idea!!!

Britt: ME TOO!!!

oh! and don’t let me forget to give you a bunch of your crap from my apt tonight! i don’t want to forget since i will be staying in this other place all week

Dani: oh yeah!

right on.

Britt: you know… in case you need your stapler… or strainer… or boob cutlets… all of which i have…HAHA

Dani: LOL!!

I actually do need all of those things.


So I can have big tits while straining and stapling.

….that sounds like a weird porn.

Britt: HOT

million dollar idea right there

dammit D, I am supposed to be working!!

i am so bad at working…

god we are the worst

Dani: haha! yeah okay I REALLY have to work now.

Britt: ok ok me too!! talk later !! xo


And thus, the seed was planted. The idea was born. Two and a half months later Dani left for Los Angeles. Five months after that, we started this blog.

Yup, I love this girl.

Back at ya, strainer-tits.