You know you’re making a difference in this world when people stumble upon your existence by googling “hotswetymonkysex” and finding your blog.

That’s right, y’all.  Here at Two Evil Actors, we have all the hotswetymonkysex you’ll ever need, located in one convenient site.  You see, WordPress (that’s our blog host thingy-ma-website-bob) has this cool feature that tracks how people navigate to your page.  

So naturally, one of me and Dani’s favorite weekly pastimes is checking our “stats” page and discovering what search words have led internet users to our humble, evil blog.

This last week’s keyword-search winner? “hotswetymonkysex”. NO joke.

So here’s hoping that the 14-year-old boy in Michigan and his three pubescent friends who found us after googling hotswetymonkysex get punchy one of these nights and decide to google “hotswetymonkysex” again and once again find themselves in the clutches of Two Evil Actors.  We are really trying to increase our readership among the whole 10-14 year old boy demographic; that is our end-game.  After all, deep down, Britt and I are 12-year-old boys.  

Farting in class is funny!!

I happen to know that Britt has a stuffed shark on her bed:


 …and I happen to know that Dani’s soul IS that of a 12-year-old boy:

D evidence

…and this is the art that Britt and I compulsively bought together at a bar one night (artwork by Portland artist Beth Myrick! It’s graffiti AND zoo animals. So rad.):

IMG_0041 IMG_0042


Anyway, if you are a 10-14 year-old boy, we relate, and we’ve got you covered.  And there’s even more damning evidence at the bottom of this post. 

…But sorry if we weren’t exactly what you expected.



But there is more voyeuristic fun where that hotswetymonkysex came from! Here are some more of our personal faves:

“i am happy because you are in this world”

“does bikram make you fart”

“gypsy transvestite”

“move into basement to save money”

“sweaty body actors” 

“image of god the father”

“evil pisces person”

“evil part of a virgo”

“american actors all look the same”

“bitches be like size doesn’t matter”

“tickle torture”

“sexxxxual” (yes, four x’s)

“i am excited and terrified in equal parts at all times” (stop reading my diary already) (and my mind)

“kittens saying poop” (totally my favorite one.)

…It’s like someone climbed into my brain and figured it all out. These crazies totally cracked the code, y’all.

Anyway. Happy Friday, friends. Have fun and be safe with those search-words. ‘Cause remember… we are watching you…

Here’s to a million more sex-hits on our blog,

~dani & britt

***Further Evidence***

Britt can’t wait to grow a mustache

…neither can Dani.  (Photo with fellow blogger Roya and her bf!)

britt playing a pubescent boy (Viola/Cesario in Twelfth Night)

Britt playing a pubescent boy (Viola/Cesario in Twelfth Night)

sam and dan

Dani playing with her armpit vent (featuring sammi)