the googlesearch game

Happy Friday, everyone!! From Portland, Oregon and Ladakh, India, your friends Britt and Dani would like to give you a little weekend treat.

Yes. Happy Friday indeed.

And this Friday we would like to introduce you to a little game that Dani and I like to call: “The (Exclusive Two Evil Actors) Google Search Game”. Welcome aboard, sports fans.

As you may recall from our oh-so-popular post“hotswetymonkysex” (which, oddly enough, got WAAAAAY more hits than any of our other posts… thanks a lot, you gross f*ckers), good Christians from around the world type very questionable things into search engines and find our blog.

…I know, SHOCKING. Because we are so appropriate and PC. It’s hard to believe.

But the stats don’t lie, people.

In the past, our blog has been discovered by typing in popular buzz-words and phrases such as:

“gypsy transvestite”

“american actors all look the same”

“tickle torture”

“kittens saying poop”,

and of course, the ever popular: “hotswetymonkysex”.

…And that’s just in one week, my friends. Each week brings whole new box of gems. And lucky for us, I’m sure each week also brings tens of millions of new follows who happened to stumble across our incrediblog by typing in the catch-phrase: “bitches be like size doesn’t matter”.

So, without further adieu, here are the winners of this week’s edition of the Two Evil Actors Google Search Game:

“flying fart gif”

“crying at desk”

“bitch please i’m a virgo”

“shoulder stand girl lift and carry”

“peanut birthday”

“two bitches are together”

“meditation posture ‘fart’ ” (…do we see a theme here?)

…and my personal fave:

“pigments of your imagination clown”.

I’m so honored to know we’re reaching such a broad and diverse audience. We are truly making a difference here, people. We’re giving back. That’s called COMMUNITY.

Now go forth and do something epic for your community this weekend. Hug a kitten that knows how to say “poop”.

love from your evil farty yogi peanuts,

evilactors

~britt who is sort of pretending to be dani right now & dani who is in India

britt gets a life upgrade

You and I, Blogersphere, have not caught up for a few weeks. In fact, I think it has been nearly a month since we’ve caught up last. Man, I’m not going to lie, it’s pretty hard to keep on track when my Evil Actor Twin Dani has been gone for weeks in India. But friends… ooooohhh, friends. My life has been changing (would you expect anything less from me?). But this time, it is nothing but good stuff. No more house fires, cancer scares, and hit-and-runs. Only life-wins. Only complete badassedry. Only TOTAL LIFE UPGRADE.

totallifeupgradeLet me give you the epic highlights.

First: I have a new room! A real room! With a door! Look, look!!

1

hello happy yellow room!

please note and appreciate my shark pillow.

please note and appreciate my shark pillow.

3

please note and appreciate my OK Computer poster.

4.

it’s SO YELLOW UP IN HERE.

For my friends following along at home, you know that this is a huge step up from my frat house basement-dwelling and air-mattress in the living-room dwelling days. Rooming with Liz* and Shane* is pretty much the best. They even feed me sometimes, if I’m really good.

Second: I got a new phone (thank you, Shane)!! 

For those of you who have not had the pleasure of hanging around me from February to June 2013, you have not experienced my old phone in all its glory:

I lived with this beauty and its "spiderweb filter" for four months.

Yup. I lived with this beauty and its “spiderweb filter” for four whole months. Roughin’ it.

And now, oh NOW, this is how my iPhone looks. And this is how I look when I am spending quality time with it.

A shatter-less screen? What LUXURY! I feel like I got a new prescription on my contacts or something. I CAN SEE AGAIN! YES!!

Third: I bought myself health insurance! Because I am a grown-up!

(And also because one major health scare is quite enough for me, thankyouverymuch.)

Fourth: One of my very dearest, closest friends,* Liz Evans and my boy-twin, *Shane Winters (both of whom I now have the pleasure of living with) GOT ENGAGED this past week!! And I was there the night it happened! I almost peed myself! (Thank you, magic of UP Reunion Weekend. Go Pilots.)

aren't they ADORBS?!

aren’t they ADORBS?!

aren't WE adorbs?!

aren’t WE adorbs?!

Aaaaanddd… (Drumroll, please)… Fifth:

I gave my notice at my day job.

desk prison

OH MY GAW!

This is both exhilarating and terrifying for me. Shit’s getting real. Goodbye, Safety Net. I’m doing it. I’m really doing it… I’m moving to Los Angeles!

Oh, LIFE! You crazy fox!! Let’s just keep doing what we’re doing.

In other news, here are the rad activities have been keeping me busy enough to think that I don’t have time to write to you…

My (past 3) week(s):

These past few weeks have been jammed packed with a lot of awesome things. In the midst of rehearsals for various projects, callbacks, and a couple of readings of new work that I got to participate in (a new screenplay co-written by Portland staples Greg James and Mike Prosser called”Tidepool” and a new piece by NY playwright Deborah Copeland entitled, “Love Story for Eros”), I also had this shaaaat goin’ on:

I shot a commercial a couple weeks ago where, for the first time ever, I played a MOM.

…And I had not one, but three children. The oldest of which was probably about… eight. What’s up, people?! I’m 26. Do I not get to play teenagers anymore?! WHO AM I?!! HELP!!

But for real. The commercial shoot was really fun and the kids were great. I can’t wait to see how it turns out. When I wasn’t shooting, I hung out on the swing set and nomz-ed pretty hard on craft services. It was an awesome day of work.

As my time as a company member at Theatre Vertigo comes to a close, so does Vertigo’s tenure at the Theater!Theatre! building (located in SE Portland). After serving as a home to both Vertigo and Profile Theatre as resident companies for the past decade, Theater!Theatre! closes its doors. I didn’t expect to get too weepy during The Great Move weekend a couple of weeks back, but I definitely did. (In the privacy of my own car afterwards, but it still counts.) I was sad to say goodbye to that place. It made my departure with Vertigo and (my soon-to-be) with Portland seem much more real.

Taking apart the Arena Stage. :(

taking apart the Arena Stage. 😦

Some beautiful show debris I found under the theatre seats.

beautiful show debris I found under the theatre seats.

Some friends gather to say goodbye to the space.

some friends gather to say goodbye to the space.

and some more friends...

and some more friends…

...and even more friends.

…and even more friends.

But lucky me, I got to take home a part of the space!

6

This beautiful souvenir is now hanging on my wall. Along with the box office sign and the lobby sign and the green room sign. It’s possible I overdid it a bit. Whatever. I get sentimental.

Anyway.

Rehearsals for Portland Shakespeare Project‘s The Tamer Tamed have started!

tamer

This show runs as a staged reading in rep with PSP’s The Taming of the Shrew this summer and I am excited to for it to take off!

I got new headshots!  I can’t wait to see how they turned out. Liz and I did headshot sessions together with the ridiculously talented Gary Norman of Gary Norman Photography with the incredible, one-and-only Gavin Hoffman assisting. Pretty much, it was three of my favorite people in one place, which was stupid fun.

My boys Gavin and Gary, and their hot hot asses.

my boys Gavin and Gary, and their hot hot asses.

Everything is stupid fun right now.

Especially this Intergalactic Leopard dress I just bought.

dress

Total Life Upgrade. In epic dress form.

There is no more to say.

until next time,

~britt

britt confronts cancer fears and has the best road trip EVER

My life is crazy. Seriously crazy. In the past week and a half, I confronted my fears about cancer, took a road trip from Twin Falls, Idaho to Los Angeles, California, and went to a theatre-nerd prom. Simply existing has been a thrilling yet frightening rollercoaster with all of the best payoffs (although I think I may be getting a little motion sick from it all).

But good news!

I think I can say with moderate certainty, dear friends, that I am out of the woods with all the major life-threatening drama. I swear that sometimes it feels like Portland is trying to dispel all of the toxic shit floating around me before I move to Los Angeles. Fine, I’m down with that, Portland. Let’s do it all now. As long as the pendulum swings the other way in time to bring me a pleasant and successful transition into my new life. Got it? Good. Thanks, Portland.

But yes! Good news! Before I tell you the bottom-line of this saga, let me take you on a journey of my past week or so.

In my last post, I tried to address in a somewhat tactful way that I was going through a bit of a cancer scare and was pretty freaked out about it. It was a tough thing for me to write about. The whole experience and “waiting game” that came with it made for the longest few weeks of my life.

Last Tuesday, I got a biopsy on a class 4a solid cyst was found in my left breast (as I have learned, fluid cyst= good news, solid cyst=reason for concern). My mom drove down from Tacoma to take me to the procedure. I could not have been more thankful to have here there. Thanks, Mom.

I felt pretty strong while we were in the waiting room, but when I put on the patient dress thing and walked into the room where the procedure would be done, I started shaking. I assumed the position on the cold, reclined chair where they have you lie down really still while they poke needles in you and vacuum out of your insides. This is when I started to cry. I cried on that chair in my pathetic apron, feeling stupid and helpless and scared, while my mom held my hand and told me I was being brave. I felt like I was 7 years old. I felt embarrassed and I’m not really sure why.

I got most of my tears out before the radiologist and technician came in, thank goodness. The experts walked me through the procedure (I realize I had no idea what a biopsy entailed exactly, and I’m glad I didn’t know until then) and I nodded calmly in response and they asked me if I had any questions.

“Can I watch the screen while you do it?”

I can’t remember if I actually asked that question or if it remained within the walls of my skull because my voice-box stopped working. But either way, they did shift the screen on the monitor in a way that I could watch the procedure if I wanted to. And I did.

I looked down my apron as they stuck a huge-ass needle in my boob, I watched as they removed the needle that numbed the area, I observed intently down my chest as they inserted a vacuum to extract a biological sample of the cyst. I also watched the monitor.

At this point, I was genuinely academically intrigued. It was pretty incredible. I saw the different instruments puncture through my skin and penetrate the gumball-sized lump in my chest. I watched them poke and prod, I watched the mass change shape slightly in the monitor as in pulsated and moved around, reacting to the foreign attack.

The most unsettling thing about the procedure, however, was the way the vacuum felt as it sucked out parts of my body. I can’t really describe it, it just felt unnatural and horrible. But luckily I had other things to focus on while they were doing that. Like coughing.

Among other things on my mind that day, I was getting over a pretty gnarly cold on the day of the biopsy. I was in the part of the cold process where I would have extreme coughing fits at any time and would need to chug a glass of water to get it to stop. While the procedure was underway, I was concentrating so damn hard on not coughing while the needle was in my chest–such a delicate fucking thing– that I kind of forgot about everything else that was happening. It took every ounce of my concentration, breath control, and will-power to keep that cough at bay while the doctor was at work.

I never warned anyone in the room of this (which, in hindsight, was a mistake), but I told my mom about it afterwards. I think she was half impressed and half alarmed. But whatever, I did it. I am awesome.

The second most unsettling thing about the whole experience was when the doctor told me that he diagnosed a 21-year-old of breast cancer a month ago. I don’t remember why he felt the need to tell me this. I think his point was something along the lines of: “you never know”, and “it’s good to catch things early”. But still. Thanks, Doc. Minor heart-attack happening, here.

But yeah… eye on the prize, people. Eye on the prize! I got through the biopsy just fine. And now I have a rad battle scar (until the bruising fades, at least) and it is a fucking badge of honor. Black and blue and green and yellow and bandaged. This, my friends, I call ZOMBIE BOOB. And I am proud!!

Good job, boob! You did it!!!

And best news, my friends?!

…I got the results from the biopsy back last Thursday… and I am CANCER-FREE!!!!

I heard this news in Twin Falls, Idaho, where I flew out to road trip with my dear friend Suzzane to Los Angeles (she is starting her grad program in social work at USC– you go girl!). The doctor called me when Suz and I were watching episodes of Parks and Recreation on the couch at her mom’s place. My phone rang and I froze and didn’t answer. I hid in the bathroom for a while and had a minor panic attack. Then Suz held my hand and encouraged me to check the voicemail. Bless her heart.

And it was the best news I have ever received. I am so grateful. So happy.

..And to top it all off, we woke up at the ass-crack of dawn the next day to road-trip to our new home (well, my new home in a few months)! 14 hours in a car, 10 pee-breaks, 2 alien-themed jerky tourist-trap stops, and epic fun. It was one of the best days ever. EVER. My little heart was pounding the happiest of beats in my chest every mile of the way.

What a journey. 

Let me take you on a journey. A journey of epic shit I did this WEEK!

My Week:

After the close of “Aloha Say the Pretty Girls” with Theatre Vertigo (my last show as a company member… sniff sniff, cry cry!) last week, I welcomed a much-needed “break” between projects of mine. Well…”break” is such a relative term. ‘Cause let’s be real. I never rest.

So! Last Monday was the annual Drammy Awards, which is the biggest cast party/awards ceremony/reason for theatre people to drink that Portland has to offer. It is the Tonys, Oscars, and nerd- prom all rolled into one. And this year, my amazing friend Nicole Gladwin MC’ed. She is the Baddest-Ass there ever was. And the best stage manager ever. And the best human ever. I love her.

So anyway. Each year the Drammy Committee books out the McMenamins Crystal Ballroom downtown and hundreds of theatre professionals get dressed up in their hottest suits and dresses to celebrate all things theatrical. Pretty rad, right?

This is what a sea of theatre people looks like.

This is what a sea of theatre people looks like.

No, THIS is what a sea of theatre people look like.

No, THIS is what a sea of theatre people look like.

I very was proud to sit at the Theatre Vertigo table this year with my company. Because we kiiiinda TOOK IT HOME. We won Best Sound Design (GO RICHARD MOORE!) for our winter show, The Velvet Sky (which I helped produce as Company Artistic Liaison to the director) and Best Actress in a Supporting Role for our fall show, Mother Courage and Her Children (GO BROOKE CALCAGNO**!). Company Member Kerry Ryan also received the other Best Actress in a Supporting Role award for her work in Post5 Theatre‘s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream (HELL YEAH!).

Brooke and I were joking that night about how our spring show, “Aloha Say the Pretty Girls” was a shoe-in for Best Production (the show was kind of a train-wreck), but HEY. Ya can’t win ’em all, right?

Oh, theatre. You slay me.

But anyway. For the most part, we were kind of a big deal that night.

**Also, for what it’s worth, I was wearing the now Drammy-Award-Winning Brooke Calcagno’s dress to the ceremony that night. So, obviously, that gave me hot and talented points.

See? Hot and talented points. And yes. I did get ready by myself in the dressing room of the theatre. I'm having some separation anxiety issues already, okay?!

See? Hot and talented points. And yes. I did get ready by myself in the dressing room of the theatre. I’m having some separation anxiety issues already, okay?!

In other news.

On Wednesday of last week, I had an audition for a theatre job I reeeally wanted to get at a company I reeeally admire, but alas. I dropped the ball on that one. That Wednesday I gave a vanilla, not-dailed-in, super-distracted audition. Sigh. It happens. I had to remind myself at least eight times to “let it go” as I walked back to my day job after the audition.

To be quite honest, I just couldn’t get my head in the game after the biopsy the day before. I was scared and shakey and was having trouble sitting up straight and moving my left arm without feeling pain or a weird weak sensation. But most of all, I was scared to death of finding out the biopsy results at any given minute.

But whatever. It’s about showing up and doing the work no matter what, and I showed up and did the work. It’s okay if it was not my best, I cannot always deliver my best. I am not a machine. I am HUMAN!

And, as you know, I found out the (terrific!) results that next day, on Thursday. So I was not in limbo for too long. 🙂

…Which is when I began my EPIC TRAVELING ADVENTURE with Miss Suzzane Cawthra to Los Angeles, from Portland, via Boise/Twin Falls Idaho (don’t try to understand it, just go with it). It was beautiful.

Suzventures

#suzventures

That Thursday through Monday was one of the most amazing stretch of days I’ve ever had. There was so much to be thankful for, to be happy about, and even more to look forward to. I feel like I have already received my prize.

You guys, I simply CANNOT WAIT to move down to LA. With each trip I make down there (and clearly, I cannot stay away) I feel more and more at home. During each trip, a couple more tiny pieces fall into place. And some of the most important people in my life, the ones that I have chosen to call family, are there. It feels right. I’m going with it.

I am wanting to talk more and more about this experience, but I will save it for next time. This post is already too long and even I’m starting to get bored reading it (Quick, Britt! Put in more GIFS!!).

Done.

But if there is one thing my life isn’t, though, it’s boring.

I am in a good place. I am so happy to be out of the woods after the BIG LIFE THREE (burnt-down house, hit-and-run on car, cancer scare). I am grateful to be back to the “normal life” stresses of trying to not-perform-shittily at auditions, paying-off massive credit card debt, double-booking myself and worrying about letting people down, breaking my own heart, and being deathly afraid of failure. No, that’s not melodrama people. That is my amazing life. Chock-full of challenges, ups-and-downs, and major successes and payoffs. I feel much stronger today than I did a month ago. And I have so many amazing forces in my life that have carried me through and leveled me up in life.

… Not the least of which were the three tubs of Salt and Straw ice cream (2 pear/blue cheese-my FAVE-, and one strawberry balsamic and pepper!) that found their way to me, like magic, after my biopsy.

Sigh. Amazing.

Sigh. Amazing.

And also, thank you, dear Dani, for your love from afar. Even though you are in India, I feel lucky to have little gems like these to get me through your two-month stateside absence (yup, you knew this was going to end up on our blog somehow… I LOVE YOU!):

(Ladies and gentlemen, that is my soul mate.  So BACK OFF.)

love from the lucky girl born on Friday the 13th,

~britt

britt starts over

Last time you heard from me, I was processing the traumatic event of watching the house I live in with my younger brother burn down. Now that the dust has settled (a way too relevant idiom to use, I know) and I have almost fully recovered from the event, I am experiencing a strange new giddiness about life that I cannot shake. (Not like I would want to.)

In some weird way, this whole sudden homelessness thing has been a blessing in disguise. This period of uprooting has offered me so many things that I wouldn’t have been able to discover and experience otherwise. And for that, I am so grateful.

First and foremost, I have the incredible opportunity of living with one of my very best friends, Elizabeth Evans.

we take our kombucha very seriously. we've been drinking a crap ton of it since I moved in.

we take our kombucha very seriously. we’ve been drinking a crap ton of it since I moved in.

Liz and I have some pretty epic living-together history, you guys. We roomed together in college (okay, so I wasn’t technically on the lease, but I essentially lived on the couch at Liz/Dani/Suzzane’s house throughout school) and for my first year after college.

We’ve also, of course, grown-up a lot since our last living-together adventure:

sorry for vandaulizing your room, Liz.

sorry for vandalizing your room, Liz.

i am SO much more growun-up and mature now, you guys.

i am SO much more grown-up and mature now, you guys.

But for real. We are ADULTS now. Liz even owns her own house and stuff. And has FOUR animals. Well, only three of them are hers, but still. I mean, the woman brews her own kombucha. She’s kind of a big deal.

Anyway. Yesterday Liz says to me: “Britt. It’s like my whole house is your walk-in closet. You’ve done pretty well for yourself.”

Truth. I should be on Cribs right now.

(But let us allow these fotografias speak for themselves.)

Check out my awesome Living-On-Air-Mattress-In-Living-Room-Suite, complete with fireplace, flat-screen TV, and cats:

living large.

living large.

Hotel Liz comes with free cats.

Hotel Liz comes with free cats.

Pretty legit, right? I should get my house burned down more often. I’m kind of loving this.

The first morning I woke up in Liz’s Living Room Suite, I had a cat sleeping on my back (Pancho), another cat sleeping on my legs (Queso), and a dog laying on the ground next to my face (Moe). It was awesome. I was kind of hurt that the third cat (Jasper) didn’t join in on the snuggle puddle, but I got over it. Jasper is the only animal not owned by Liz or her boyfriend Shane, so I didn’t hold it against him.

Liz also cleared out a coat-closet for me to use as my own personal closet:

not too shabby, huh?

not too shabby, huh?

God, she’s the best!! I’m pretty sure I have more closet and storage space available to me now than I had in the basement-closet-room at my brother’s college house (RIP, house). This is the most backwards Life-Upgrade I have ever experienced. So I’m going with it.

So yeah. As far as residing on a living-room air mattress in a house with 6 adults and 4 animals goes, I have won the jackpot. I am truly happy and oddly feel more settled and centered than I have in a really long time. Liz and I play/write music together almost every evening. We have lazy Sunday mornings where we drink jugs of kombucha, read tarot cards, and examine our aura colors over breakfast(#CatholicSchoolFail).  We watch crappy TV and listen to good music. I am inspired to eat better and exercise more. I am reminded what Family feels like. I could not dream of a better place to call home before moving to Los Angeles in 3 short months. Life is so crazy sometimes.

Speaking of life being crazy sometimes, check out what my past week was like:

My Week:

In the midst of trying to maintain (what was left of) my sanity while systematically going through everything I own after the fire (as all of my shit is currently scattered about Liz’s dining room, waiting to be sorted), life refuses to slow down. And that’s okay. I like it that way.

This week brought about three callbacks (two of which I booked, one of which I’m waiting to hear back from… take THAT, fire!), a full-time work week at the ‘ol day job, and a major writing binge I had to get out of my system. I also somehow found time to watch a couple new episodes of Arrested Development (YES!) and The Bachelorette (for SHAME). This whole “starting over” thing has given me such a renewed sense of energy and purpose…or perhaps I am just too afraid to slow down and process the state of my life and the scary changes ahead? Whatever. Either way, I am thankful for this constant movement. It at least reminds me that I refuse to sink.

In the Theatre Vertigo world, we now have three weeks of the “Aloha Say the Pretty Girls” run under our belts. We only have two weekends to go until we say goodbye to this wacky-ass play…!

Photo by Gary Norman

Photo by Gary Norman

Another highlight of my week was the release of this video on MTV Hive and elsewhere:

A year or so ago I had the pleasure of working with one of my very favorite bands, Hey Marseilles, on this music videoThese boys are mad talented and this video is incredibly beautiful. I simply cannot stop watching it. The song is called “Heartbeats” and it is my favorite track on their new album, “The Lines We Trace“. Please do yourself a favor and watch this powerful video. Watch it NOW.

…Okay. Did you watch it? Good. I can tell by the tears splattered all over your keyboard that you did. I TOLD you that shit is good!!

In other big news, I have officially set my Move-To-Los-Angeles date:

LA MOVEThat’s right! It’s ON!! I could not be more excited. And coming from a girl who was born on Friday the 13th (it all makes sense now, doesn’t it?), I’m pretty sure this is the luckiest moving date I could have chosen.

3.5 months. Holy crap. 3.5 months until I am reunited with my Dani and living in a  completely different place with a completely new life. As I was happy to read in Dani’s last post, we are both swimming in gratitude and love of life and are both excited to start very new chapters in our lives. (As in, the incredible Dani is leaving for an epic adventure to India this Friday… Is she awesome or what?!)

And to keep this gratitude train chugging along, for those of you wondering how my brother Nate is doing after the Epic House Fire of 2013, here is the update! He has moved into (free!) on-campus housing with his roommates until he finds a new house to live in and is starting a new job at my office next Monday (two Harris kids in the same office? Uh oh…)! Nate is currently focusing on making money to get back on his feet and to save up for new instruments. He’s got this. When it comes to music, the boy is determined.

And so, one day at a time, we journey on..!

…As long as I have enough kombucha for the road.

** #jesuiteducationforthewin #paganways

** #jesuiteducationforthewin #paganways

Thanks for reading, friends.

infinite rainbow love,

~britt

dani gives thanks for life

Britt and I had finished the 1st draft of our dual blog post for last week when our writing process was interrupted by BRITT’S FUCKING HOUSE BURNING DOWN.

Pardon the f-bomb in the first sentence of this post, but SERIOUSLY you guys. WTF.

Jesus Lord. How would you expect me NOT to drop the f-bomb right about now?

Britt being a total superhero, we managed to get our post up, but I can only imagine how surreal and gut-churning and awful it is to watch your house burn. Because of Britt’s beautiful writing I can at least get a clear picture, but I can say with confidence that it is strange and uncomfortable to NOT be there when loved ones are going through a difficult time. To hear about the hardships over the phone and to be able to do absolutely nothing to assist. One of my classmates, Kim, a native to NYC, struggled with this in a huge way last fall when Hurricane Sandy hit her beloved hometown, leaving friends and loved ones homeless and isolated from one another. Another one of my classmates, Elmira, moved to the United States from Iran only three years ago, so has to deal with a constant onslaught of dubious news from across the globe.

Kim Flores and Elmira Rahim.  Strong and brave and talented women!!

Kim Flores and Elmira Rahim. Strong and brave and talented women!!

What do you do when you can do nothing to help because you are hundreds of miles away? The only thing that makes sense to me is to do your best to offer at least emotional support, and continue to live your life to the fullest. Everyone benefits when we are being our best as individuals, and life needs joy to balance out pain.

To be quite honest, my life in LA has been extraordinarily wonderful for the past week. No sudden tragedies, no gathering belongings from the wreckage of my home while simultaneously working a full-time job and acting in a play every night and still getting great reviews. And I know that Britt, in her wonderful sister-ness, would feel nothing but happy for me that I’ve had an enjoyable week after the end of my first year of grad school.

In light of this dichotomy between mine and Britt’s experiences over the past week, I can draw two conclusions.

1. The thesis statement of Two Evil Actors is still correct. Not all blondes are the same.

The Grady Twins: The original Two Evil Actors

Unlike the Grady Twins, Britt and I are not agents of Satan and we don’t do everything in tandem. Hence the irony of this blog. Most of the time, we are living total different, yet parallel lives.

2. Life has immeasurable value and beauty.

Thanks to facebook, I stumbled upon this kid’s incredible story as I was writing this blog. Zach Sobiech is a teenager from the Midwest who found out he had terminal cancer and less than a year to live, and instead of giving up, he lived the SHIT out of his last days. He wrote a ton of music, he fell in love for the first time, and brought a ton of warmth and beauty and happiness into the lives of his loved ones. He passed away this week, May 20th 2013.

If you have the time, I suggest watching some more of his videos on youtube. He’s incredible and inspiring and he will make you want to live your life to the fullest. I also like him a lot at the moment because he reminds me of Britt’s little bro Nate, who I am very glad is currently alive.

On the bright side, I have been blessed with a full and happy life for the past week, so while attempting to NOT sound like a braggy douchebag about it, I’d like to share some of my joy with you.

My Week

1. Sunset bonfire at Dockweiler Beach in El Segundo:

photo (5)

This beach is AMAZING. If you live in Los Angeles and you are reading this, then hit me up when I am back from India this August and we are going here EVERY DAY. It’s the most wonderful glorious beautiful place. I will fight the competition for claim of a fire pit. I will sleep there for days and claim my turf on this beach. I went with my amazingly beautiful friends Andrea and Daren. We made friends with some Christian teenagers from Northridge who shared their ‘smore stuff with us, we accidentally played extras in an Indie film that’s going to Sundance next year, and then we starred as the only non-Asians at Karaoke that night. Fun central.

2. Viva Las Vegas!

Kim often goes to Vegas to teach salsa workshops.    Here are the ladies at the Salsa Social!

Kim often goes to Vegas to teach salsa workshops. Here are the ladies at the Salsa Social!

The stunning Kimberli Alexis Flores invited all the ladies in our class (that is, all four of us) to spend the weekend at her bro’s apartment in Las Vegas. We talked each others’ ears off about life, acting, grad school, USC, then got all gussied up and went out on the town. We ended up feeling super fancy at One Oak and I danced with a Puerto Rican military doctor from Miami. Unfortunately, I lost him in the crowd. If you are reading this, sir, thank you for the dance. You were a perfect gentleman.

The second night in Vegas, Elmira and I snuck away to see Cirque du Soleil’s “O” and my brain exploded approximately 10,000 times. I’ve heard that people have almost religious experiences at Cirque du Soleil but seriously. It is incredible. There are no words.

Actually, there are these words.  These words were in the lobby outside O.

Actually, there are these words. These words were in the lobby outside O.

On the way back from Vegas, Elmira, Amaka, and I stopped at Peggy Sue’s Nifty 50’s Diner.

Amaka is a movie star!!

Amaka is a movie star!!

I met a dinosaur!!

I met a dinosaur!!

3. Amaka and I joined up with a bunch of other USC people to go see our teacher David Warshofsky in a reading of Jessica Goldberg‘s new play, put up by Echo Theater Company. It was absolutely incredible. She is a brilliant playwright and the acting was BOMB, especially for a reading. If you are in LA you MUST go check out Echo Theater’s production of “Bob” this summer. It is by Peter Sinn Nachtrieb, who also wrote “Hunter Gatherers,” which Theatre Vertigo produced in Portland last year.

Go see this!

4. With the help of some of my USC friends, I discovered The Bigfoot Lodge in Atwater Village, an awesome bar adorned with so much Pacific Northwest paraphernalia that I don’t know how they fit it all in one bar. I felt so at home! Plus they have karaoke on Mondays!

I don't think this is a real place, but it should be.

I don’t think this is a real place, but it should be.

5. Once again under the guidance of my USC friends, I discovered the glories of Wi Spa. We paid $15 to spend 6 hours on Tuesday in this Korean spa, pampering ourselves. What a deal!

The Salt Sauna. Amazing.

6. I discovered yoga and samba at Brazilian Yoga and Pilates in Atwater Village, thanks to Groupon. Such a wonderful little yoga studio with extra-awesome classes. Right now they just have yoga and samba, but they also occasionally have capoeira, pilates, and drum circles. So badass!

Class

This is what yoga looks like. In case you were wondering.

7. Tarah and I went on a shopping spree to buy all the essentials we need for our big trip to India!! Thankfully, Tarah’s friend hooked us up with 50% off at Patagonia, and REI’s anniversary sale just happens to be going on right now, so we were able to stock up on everything we need for the trip! Two months in India and one backpack means one has to choose wisely what one brings. In that picture are ALL of the things I’m bringing.

I conquered that mountain. Boo yah.

I conquered that mountain. Boo yah.

Phew! What an amazing week! I don’t know what to say about it besides the fact that I am so deeply grateful to the universe for providing me with such incredible rest, relaxation, fun, and friendship to fill my days. I haven’t really gotten to do a whole lot of recreation or relaxation since moving to Los Angeles, and it turns out this city has a whole hell of a lot to offer. It’s been a long 9 months of work since being down here in Grad School, and I’m so thankful for this little interlude of incredible fun-ness and friend-time before setting off on my summer adventure.

Gotta run, friends! There’s still tomorrow! To new adventures! Follow your bliss! Love your life!

xoxo. Dani

britt watches her house burn down

When I was 8 or 9 years old I woke up in the middle of the night from a bad dream. I don’t know what intuitive force led me out of my bunk-bed and out onto the deck in the dead of night, but the feeling was strong so I went with it.

I grew up in Tacoma, Washington on a beautiful piece of land called Day Island. The deck behind the house overlooked the Puget Sound, Narrows Bridge and the Narrows Marina. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

When I walked outside that night, I saw the marina up in flames. I ran into my parents’ room screaming bloody murder and they called 9-1-1. Emergency vehicles were on the scene in what felt like seconds–but even as the firefighters tended to every charred dock and boathouse, I couldn’t sleep for fear the fire would start up again. My dad had to walk me down to the marina after the fire was put out to show me that no one was hurt and that the fire had stopped. When we approached the marina’s entrance, a sunken yacht had just been pulled up to shore. The boat was black and melted and pieces of wood jutted out at odd angles. In the eerie glow of the docklights that night, I believed it to be the spookiest, most unsettling thing I had ever laid eyes on. It was something from nightmares.

Although I gained some calm from knowing that the fire was stopped, the image of that dead ship has been seared into my brain. It haunted me night after night and I still think of it sometimes now.

That was the most frightening moment of my childhood. That, and the time when I let my brother out of my sight for a second at the park when I was supposed be watching him and my mom freaked out. (As she should have.)

But the most frightening moment of my adult life happened this past Friday, when the house my brother and I live in in North Portland burned down.

That night I had performed in a show at Theatre Vertigo and was exhausted from a fun and sleepless week in Los Angeles. I could not wait to get home and get to sleep. But before that sleep I made a pit-stop at a neighborhood bar with my dear friend Suzzane, as we had important life things to discuss (per usual). On the drive back to my house at around midnight, I saw that the street I lived on was blocked off by police cars and there were four firetrucks in front of my house. And my home was in flames.

Everything in my vision seemed to change color and any movement I witnessed seemed to happen in slow motion. The most frightening moment of my life to date was the two minutes in which I could not locate my brother, Nate. I didn’t know if he was in that house.

In those two minutes, I was somehow able to park my car at a curb and not in the middle of street (I don’t even remember doing that) and ran through the mob of college kids, firemen, police officers, university public safety personnel, and onlookers trying to find my brother. I remember shouting his name and running around and having this horrible panic in my chest for what seemed like an eternity. One of brother’s friends saw me and rushed me over to Nate who was, understandably, very upset. But that was the best feeling– locating him, hugging him. I could give a shit less about that house and the possessions inside it at that point.

Now, here are the facts that are important to this story: No one was hurt (THANK GOD). No one was home (of my four boy roommates, two were out of town and two were out at a party a couple blocks down). The fire started in the backyard and at the time of investigation that night, the investigator suspected an electrical issue to be the cause, but did not rule out arson. At the time of me writing this post, the event is still being investigated and we still don’t know who or what caused the fire. Our neighbors called 911 when they saw what they first believed to be a bonfire gone awry. Firefighters put out the fire within 3 minutes. The upstairs was completely wrecked. My brother’s room was almost completely destroyed. He lost nearly everything he owns, including his guitars and musical equipment, which are very important to him. I was lucky enough to lose nothing as the fire did not make it to the basement. The bottom level of the house had only minimal smoke damage. But I wish I had been the one to lose my crap. We had no renters insurance. Witnessing my brother’s loss absolutely kills me.

The most frightening part of this story, however, is thinking about how horrifyingly different this whole situation could have been if occurred just one hour later. Or if I had come home that night after the show and gone straight to bed instead of going out for a drink with Suzzane. If Nate had passed out in his bed when that fire hit, or if I was in my closet-room (which I know fully realize to be a fire trap… my poor parents!) when it happened, we could have been hurt or killed. Neither of us would have had an easy way out of that situation.

But I don’t want to dwell on the what-if’s anymore, I’ve already nearly driven myself insane by doing that. I would like to share some documentation of the event, though. Seeing these images scare me, but they also offer power and closure in knowing that the event is over.

So– welcome to our world this past weekend:

my brother's room

my brother’s room

more damage.

more damage.

what was left of the upstairs bathroom.

what was left of the upstairs bathroom.

shower melting into the wall.

shower melting into the wall.

scary stuff. :(

scary stuff. 😦

this gives me shivers.

this gives me shivers.

my poor brother's favorite guitar. :(

my poor brother’s favorite guitar. 😦

Okay, so that’s over and done with! We survived. All is well. Nate and I are alive and happy and temporarily homeless.

My Past Couple Weeks:

Before the real-life nightmare and subsequent uprooting, three big things happened in my professional life since my last post that I would like to report (because that is what I do on this blog):

1.) I spent four days in Los Angeles with my Dani girl in preparation for my big move:

LAX

twins

2.) I opened a show at Theatre Vertigo called “Aloha Say The Pretty Girls”:

These are our opening night faces at front of house.

These are our opening night faces at front of house.

This is my opening night face on stage, apparently. (Photo by Gary Norman)

This is my opening night face on stage, apparently. (Photo by Gary Norman)

This is my opening night face in the dressing room.

This is my opening night face in the dressing room.

3.) I had a rad callback. Remember that film audition in Seattle I had a few weeks back? I got the callback! So I made that beloved PDX to Seattle/Seattle back to PDX trek once again.

YAY 6 hours of DRIVING!

YAY 6 hours of DRIVING!

I was super jazzed about this opportunity because the film stars Kiera Knightley and Sam Rockwell! These are the big leagues, guys. It was definitely worth the drive and I learned a lot from the audition. Like the fact that I can memorize completely new (8-or-so-page) sides in ten minutes when the appropriate pressure is applied. Gotta love that shit.

So yeah– those things happened!

So, while in the midst of one of the scariest events of my life, I have learned a lot of beautiful lessons and have achieved a renewed sense of gratitude. I am lucky to be an alive and functional human being. I am lucky to do what I love for a living (for the most part). I am lucky to have my parents and my brother. I learned the true meaning of “the show must go on” after I reeealllyy didn’t feel like I had it in me to run a show the day after my house burned down with 2 hours of sleep, tapped-out adrenaline, and heightened nerves. I re-realized how lucky I am to have the best friends in the entire universe.

Which reminds me. Miss Elizabeth Evans (and her other half, Mr. Shane Winters) is the most amazing human in existence.

Shane and Liz. My heroes.

Shane and Liz. My heroes.

Liz has been one of the most important people in my life since 10th grade and she was a guardian angel for me and Nate during this whole ordeal. Not only did she and Shane show up on the scene after I called her at 1:30am as a sloppy weepy mess, but she helped me and my brother move items out of the house LATE that night, EARLY the next morning, and gave me and Nate and Nate’s friend from out-of-town couches to sleep on that night. She also set up free on-campus housing at The University of Portland for my brother and his roommates until they get back on their feet. Now THAT is family. She gave it no thought, she just acted. And now Liz has offered me her home to stay in until I move to Los Angeles.

Jesus, Liz!! MOST AMAZING PERSON OF THE YEAR AWARD. Truly, she is family.

Family.

Family is the best. The morning after the fire, our parents drove down to help. I’m sure we gave the both of them near heart-attacks with that phone-call. The four of us went through the house to salvage what we could. At this point Nate and I were a little giddy to be (almost) on the other side of such a stressful ordeal. To commemorate this accomplishment of survival and pure luck, I took these photos of my brother with this grotesque backdrop:

my very alive brother

my very alive brother

...in his very dead room.

…in his very dead room.

In all seriousness, I know I could have been in a lot of trouble in my basement closet room if I was there that night, and I could not be more thankful for the safety of my brother and all those boys who lived at the house.

So this is me signing off and reminding all of you to check your smoke alarms and fire escape routes. Seriously!! Please! I will give you a big hug as a reward. Come and claim it, ’cause I am all about the hugs right now.

Love to you my friends,

~britt

reunited (and it feels so good)

This was me and Britt this past week:

Who was Peaches and who was Herb? You decide!

Actually, this was us this past week in sunny, sunny Los Angeles:

photo (2)

dani, britt, & the fucking OCEAN.

As was this:

DaniBritt

move along, people, there’s nothing to see here.

We had way too much fun you guys. I can’t even wrap my head around it. I was trying to remember everything we did and I couldn’t.

Me neither. My four days with Dani were pure magic. A magical, glittery blur.

We may have even had some experiences that too closely resembled The Hangover Part 4, but I’m not permitted to talk about that.

I was so caught up in talking incessantly with my Britt and laughing my ass off and wrapping up my first year of M-F-Acting Grad School that I pretty much failed to capture any of this on camera to share with y’all. But here are some highlights!

And don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of relevant pop-culture GIFs to take the place of otherwise documenting our zany adventures. We got ya covered.

1. Mother’s day brunch at Venice Beach with my Momma! My parents were in LA to catch my performances of Don Quixote, so we had the joy of eating Mother’s Day brunch at Figtree’s Cafe and I am 99% positive that everyone who saw us assumed we were twins. NBD.

WHO IS WHO?! I HAVE NO IDEA.

2. Britt invades USC!! I took Britt to campus to see the last of the culmination performances of this semester, and once again tricked everyone into thinking we were related. In all seriousness, we want a nickel each for every time someone says, “Oh my God, you two look SO MUCH alike!” We would be MILLIONAIRES. It’s awesome. I like to think of it as external proof that we are soul-sistas.

USC takeova.

USC takeova.

And I would cash in my tens of millions of nickels to buy laser cats.

Holy CRAP though. It was an honor to watch the first and second year MFA students’ final performance work this week. There are some talented fucking actors in this program. I want to shower them all in love and praise!

first years

MFA first years

MFA second years

MFA second years

Whether Dani (and USC, for that matter) likes it or not, I will ninja into being the eleventh member of their MFA class. Or, at the very least, I’ll be everyone’s favorite stage-mom.

3. Britt reunites with old friends! Not only did Britt reunite with yours truly, she got to see some old friends from years past! Highlights include…

Mikey Thomsen. ERS Manager at Deloitte and soon to be MBA badass at NYU.

Mikey Thomsen. ERS Manager at Deloitte and soon to be MBA badass at NYU.

Avital Shira~Portland-based, work-in-every-major-city theatre goddess

Avital Shira. Portland-based, Work-In-Every-Major-City Theatre Goddess and all around Badass.

Hillary Burrelle, third-year law student at Loyola Law and future Queen of the World

Hillary Burrelle, third-year law student at Loyola Law and future Queen of the World

4. We discovered these amazing smoothies at Urth Caffe, thanks to the lovely Hillary Burrelle, and had them three times in the four days that Britt was here.

photo (3)

Seriously, you guys. These smoothies are crack and I am already having withdrawals from the sub-par smoothies in Portland.

5. We went to the ocean! Here is Britt conquering Mother Nature at Playa del Rey.

310207_10152812268805346_2116278395_n

And here is Dani conquering a sand-cliff. Don’t mess.

Kingofthemountain

6. Dani and Britt jam!!

Dani captured in a moment of music serenity.

Dani captured in a moment of music serenity.

When we live together down in LA LA Land, we are going to have the most musical house on the block. I wish I had room on my carry-on to travel with my new ukulele, cause you know that shit would have gotten CRAZY. We’re about to have some dueling Lady Gaga guitar/uke times, just you wait.

I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to have my bestie with me in Los Angeles. She seemed so at home here, and it was definitely living proof that in about four months, Britt will be conquering the whole damn city of Los Angeles. I’ll let Britt speak for herself, but post-reunion, I am feeling ready to take on India and come back to the City of Angels to continue the world takeover by Two Evil Actors.

Any fear or second-guessing I had about making making the move to Los Angeles dissipated when Dani and her parents picked me up at the LAX airport. The whole trip filled my soul and gave me energy. Thinking of my imminent move makes my chest vibrate with excitement… and I came back to Portland feeling rejuvenated and ready to work hard to prepare for this relocation.

I know that this new adventure will in many ways be stressful and sloppy and LOUD, but I truly do not know if I have ever looked forward to something so much in my life.

So watch out world, cause this Two Evil Actors reunion is about to become a permanent thing.

…It’s fucking ON.

we love you hard,

dani & britt

reunion tour

SOON. Dani and I will be REUNITED!!

what WHAT!!!!!!!

That’s right fools. In exactly one month’s time I’ll be getting on an airplane and zooming down to the City of Angels to visit my dear D before she leaves for India!! GLORY!!!!!!!!!

ERMAHGERD!!!!!! Words cannot contain my intense excitement.  Neither can my pants.  Because I just pooped them.  Not only do I get to see Britt before I go on my India adventure, BUT ALSO:

This will be the last time I see Dani before I move to LA myself. How’s that for a reality-check? Holy shit!! It’s GO-TIME!

Life = Change, and the best part about it are the people with whom who you share all the craziness.  And as some very wise (and possibly stoned) people once said, “Friends are the family you choose.”  Alright.  That’s as deep as this post is gonna get.  IT’S SATURDAY!!

Amen, sister. By the time we are reunited, Dani will be done with school for the year and I will full-on have my Vacation Face on, ready for action. I mean… WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN?! What will the week hold?! We may do some embarrassing shit. We may even get arrested.

just another day.

B and D circa 2009, being embarrassing and getting arrested. Nothing has changed.

Or maybe we’ll just do yoga and beach time and go to that meditation center D was talking about. Whatever.

But mostly we’ll just be awesome.

Any peeps want to meet up with us during our SuperFunTime? Hit us up! May 12th-16th, y’all!!

Our interests include talking about art, long walks on the beach, drinking in sketchy bars, and terrible karaoke.  Professional and non-creepy requests will be considered.  No, we will not accompany you to your isolated cabin outside of cell range.  Yes, hanging out with us is EXACTLY like reading our blog only with the added risk of pissing yourself and waking up on a park bench.  

If you CAN’T meet up with us, or if you don’t have the balls (or ovaries), you can still look forward to reading some dual-blogging mayhem when are both IN THE SAME CITY!  Who KNOWS what wonders that might hold?  We sure as hell don’t! But there’s gonna be a whole heapload more where that comes from once I am the proud co-resident of Los Angeles with the one and only Britt Harris!!

…Actually that’s not true.  There is one other Britt Harris.

Thomas Britton "Britt" Harris IV is the current chief investment officer of the Teacher Retirement System of Texas, the public pension for the state of Texas.

Britt Harris is the chief investment officer of the Teacher Retirement System of Texas, the public pension for the state of Texas.

But we don’t need to talk about him.  

Yeah, WHY does this guy show up before me when you type “Britt Harris” into google image search?! DAMN YOU, Mr. Britt Harris!! You are my true nemesis!!

We also don’t need to talk about how many other “Danielle Larson”s there are in the world.

Okay, true.

What were we talking about again?

I have no idea.

Oh yeah!  My new boyfriend/love of my life!  He’s a real gentleman. 

And remember kids… gentleman do not give you crabs. Not even if those crabs are, in fact, gentleman.

crab gentlman

mwaaahaaaa…

See you in the loony bin (aka LA LA Land),

~britt & dani

britt talks feeling weak & finding family

When we wrapped the final day of principal photography for Birds of Neptune (Day 17 for the project, Day 15 for Yours Truly), I cried all the way home. Well, I guess I should say I cried all the way to rehearsal, but whatever. Technicalities. (You know I can’t take a break to save my life.)

For those of you following along at home, you know I’ve been going through some GCOES times, brain frenzy and heart hurt as of late. I’m not going to lie, bringing myself to even write a post this week has been difficult. I’d rather just roll into a ball on the floor and cry, but no, fuck that, it’s BLOG TIME. I don’t mean to sound melodramatic but I don’t know what else to write about.

I feel weak.

Emotionally and physically, I feel very weak.

Every day I second-guess my plans to move to LA. Every day I feel scared of leaving the people I love behind. Every day I feel scared of being left by those I love. I often carry around an overwhelming sadness of knowing that I will ultimately go through this journey alone. I mean, any true expert in their field walks a lonely road to quest for truth…right?

I don’t know.

But it’s okay to feel weak. I need to remember that.

As Dani so beautifully stated in her last post, ” (It is about mastering the art of) being in the moment without being attached to the moment. Just because you allow yourself to truly go through an experience doesn’t mean you have to get attached to that experience and spiral down into an abyss of panic, fear, depression, or murderous rage. Just breathe. A new moment is waiting to rush into you. Literally.”

Wow. And that shit is hard to remember! When I feel hurt and scared and alone it is so easy to take the people I love down with me. And that is selfish love.

But you know what? Fuck that. I am not alone. I am not stuck in a bubble. I have found family in dear friends whom I know will never leave me, no matter what my geography. And I have found family in the random people who come together by chance to create something bigger than themselves in a world of art and creation.

Take Birds of Neptune, for example. This team is my FAM. These people, some of them acquaintances, most of them strangers, have seen me at my most vulnerable and have loved and supported me through all of my experiences. They celebrated my 26th birthday with me, witnessed me puking in the bushes from nerves, held me as I cried-off a scene that really shook me, and have taken shots with me after a long 16-hour day of work. They are no longer acquaintances or strangers or “just people are work with”. They are my fucking Fam.

My BON family was my family this week. And thank god for them.

Speaking of….

My Week

Without all this work keeping me busy, I don’t know how I would find my center. It’s always there, pushing me forward, reminding me of who I am, gently reassuring me that everything I experience in life is meaningful and relevant. I am so lucky.

Let’s talk about this movie.

Despite its intensity and absorption of my life for weeks, Birds of Neptune has been so good to me. As I mentioned earlier, this week marked the wrap of principal photography for the film. This is not a picture-wrap on me quite yet, though– I will most likely have another shooting day for pick-ups and there is an additional scene we still need to shoot. But in reality, BON production is wrapped. That is seven months of my time: prep, rehearsal, and production WRAPPED, folks. I can’t believe I am finally on the other side. WOA.

And on that note:

Here are some highlights from my adventures on the BON set this week:

First– having my own stunt double. Seriously, that is just rad (I would have died in this car otherwise, trust me):

BON6

Jesus watching over Craft Services at one of our locations (legit):

BON4

Discovering creative and epic ways to fit a camera the size of a boat into spaces the size of a closet:

BON1

Three words. THRIFT STORE DAY:

BON2 thrift shop

THRIFT SHOP DAAAAAY!!

You GUYS. Thrift Store Day was the BEST Day. Conveniently located next door to one of our shooting locations, I think it goes without saying that we spent our lunch break that day treasure hunting. Among the items purchased by the cast and crew that day were an exercise bike (fifty dolla make you holla!!), a VHS entitled “Multiplication Rap ($0.75), and a book published in 1921 entitled, “Beautiful Girlhood” ($1.50).

I want you all to know that I purchased that lovely gem of a book. There were chapters entitled “A Girl’s Ornaments”, “Opening Flowers”, “The strength of Obedience”, “Making Herself Beautiful”, “That Member, The Tongue”, “The Oils of Life”, “The Girl Who Can Be Trusted” and “Getting Ready for The Great Responsibility”. I mean… holy fuck. How could you NOT purchase that?! It was so fascinating to me because it is equal parts blood-boiling and hilarious. I would love to get this book into the hands of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Because turning back the clock for women is oh-so-funny. At least there was plenty of unintentional sexual innuendo in that book to satisfy my snarky factor so I didn’t stay pissed off about the book’s existence for too long.

But I digress.

Anyway. This week was a sprint to the finish line for BON. A glorious ending. And this week also brought new beginnings as I start rehearsals for Theatre Vertigo‘s “Aloha Say the Pretty Girls”:

Aloha

(c) Gary Norman

And you know, even with all the amazing going on around me, I really don’t feel so good right now. I can acknowledge that, and that is okay.

But also, FUCK that.

Because this is what I have learned, and am always learning:

Being vulnerable is hard. Being a human is hard. Loving others is hard. Loving yourself is hard. No matter how much adulting or discipline I condition in my daily life, there will still be things I don’t plan for. You cannot plan on the heart, that is for sure.

But I truly believe that is what makes everything worth it. To love and to risk being hurt. To love and risk hurting others. To love and be loved in return. To find family wherever you go. To know that you are not alone.

Now enough GCOES. I have shit to do.

got shit to do!

Love to you, my dear Family, thank you for being there.

~britt

britt talks scrappy living

My call time got pushed back after I had arrived on set for Birds of Neptune the other day, so I decided to enjoy some quality me-time at a neighborhood coffeeshop on Hawthorne. I was so happy to have time to breathe. I felt sleep-deprived and displaced as I had been couch-surfing and working 12+ hour days the past week (you know I love it). I went up to the bar to order a latte’ and ran my fingers through my new blue hair. I was feeling especially gritty that morning since I had not been through hair & make-up on set yet and was wearing the same outfit for the third day in a row. I tried my best to shake out my bed-head to look somewhat presentable in public. I removed what I thought was a small rock from my nest of hair and jumped back when I realized the small rock was actually a not-so-small-beetle.
Yup, I had a beetle in my hair.  No big deal. Nothing to see here, people, just a transient chick with an ant farm for a hair-do. Please proceed with your NOT-watching-Britt-be-weird/gross/awkward-activites, thanks.
I played it cool though, hoping no one would notice as I nonchalantly removed the insect from my hair and placed it on the ground. I saw a lady staring at me from across the room with a concerned look on her face. Goddamnit. She approached me and said, “Excuse me, but do you know that you have a post-it note stuck on your back?”
Ah. Right you are, you observant Cafe Angel, saving me from myself.
Now watch Britt as she once-again nonchalantly addresses her disheveled-ness in public by responding: 
“Oh, yeaahhh. Thanks! Yeah. I stayed at my friend Molly’s house last night and she left me this really sweet note in the morning and it must have fallen from the door and onto the pile of clothes on the floor …. I have been wearing the same outfit for the past three days, so that’s why… nevermind, long story… thanks though! I was looking for that note.”
Good save, Britt. You successfully made yourself appear like a high-functioning citizen of society.
Ahhh my dear Mol. 😀 Molly is my amazing friend who plays my sister in the film I am working on. I think she is my long-lost sister in real life. Either my mom got rid of her (rude) or her mom got rid of me (understandable).
This is my Molly:
And if you cannot tell us apart, I am the weird one eating her hair. NOMZ.

And if you cannot tell us apart, I am the weird one eating her hair. NOMZ.

And this is her sweet note:
I have the best Screen Sister ever.

I have the best Screen Sister ever.

..Which ended up on my back.
I spent nearly every night this week staying at Mol’s place. It was the best.
And on that note, I gotta call it out: I may seem these days like a bit of a wanderer, or even a scavenger, perhaps. But I prefer to label my current self and lifestyle as… “resourceful”. That’s right people. Let’s talk about Britt’s Anthem of Scrappy Living 2013.
In the whirlwind of exciting events that have occurred over the past few months, here is a glimpse into my crazy brain and poor-person problem solving:
~”I smashed my iPhone screen to the point where I can barely type or interpret texts? Whatever, this new “spiderweb filter “is totally rad! Why would you want to spend $150 to fix THAT?!”
~”I’m out of TP? No worries! I’ll use these coffee filters instead! I have a shit*-ton of those!” (*pun intended)
~”I’ve lived in my brother’s basement for a month and he still hasn’t reattached the door to my room because he is using it as a beer-pong table?! It’s cool, I’ll use this gold curtain as a door instead!!”
~” Oh darn, I’m outta shampoo?! Ah well, I’ll choose from this assortment of Old Spice* shampoo and smell like middle school boy all day! (*Remember, I am living with four college boys now)
~” AGHH my college boy housemates are partying until 4am on a Tuesday* and I have an audition early tomorrow morning?!  And for some reason they are throwing chairs across the room upstairs and making blueberry pancakes..?! Not even a problem,  I will just crank my music up to the max on my iPod and cry into my shark pillow!!” (*Remember, I have a “sound proof curtain” for a door)
~”Ah man! I am so exhausted in between jobs and rehearsals and need a nap before the next thing on the agenda but don’t want to waste gas to drive back home to North Portland… I know! I’ll take a nap on the couch in the rehearsal room at my theatre company because the building is so centrally located!! That’s why I have keys to everything, right?!”
~”I need new clothes but have no cash. Not a problem! I get half of my wardrobe from the free-pile at Suzzane’s (my old) apartment complex!! Thank goodness skinny PDX hipsters go through their neon V-necks and skinny jeans so fast! I am a genius!!”
Problem solving on the cheap, people.. it’s my thing. Scrappy living, baby… scrappy living.
And speaking of scrappy living, do you know what the exact opposite of scrappy living is?! Starring in a MOVIE! Let’s catch up about what has gone down in my life this week! 😀
-0
My Week
At 4:30am this past Saturday, we wrapped Week One of principal photography for Birds of Neptune.
Rachel & Mona(c) Reverie Films, 2013

Sisters Rachel & Mona
(c) Reverie Films, 2013

It was an exhausting and rewarding four days (I had Tuesday off…mwaaHA!). The last working day of the week is what the crew was calling a “Fraterday”– where the Friday work day (which started at 2pm that day) ends in the wee hours of the Saturday morning (4:30am). Let’s just say I hibernated this weekend to keep the ‘ol immune system happy. (Oh and thanks a lot for the time change this weekend, Benjamin Franklin… ya fucking asshole. I know we all could have used that extra hour.)
Working on BON is incredible and I feel so lucky to be a part of this project and to be working with so many talented people. I am still processing a lot of what this first week had to offer and prepping for what the next two and a half weeks will need. I could talk about this experience for hours and also be at a loss for words at how to describe it at the same time. I cannot wait to get started on Week Two.
This past week also brought my first commercial audition with blue hair. I called my agent to tell her it probably wouldn’t be “very commercial” for me to go in with blue hair, and perhaps I should sit this one out. “Just GO IN and PULL YOUR HAIR BACK!!” says agent. Noted. You genius, genius agent, you.
…I think it went well.
Onward!
Oh! And hey Dani this scrappy chick can’t wait to move into your basement in sunny LA LA Land.
Watch out.
Thank you for reading, my friends!
~britt