I don’t even really need to write a blog now. That title just did all the work for me. So, I know that y’all really come to twoevilactors.com to read about this beautiful goddess Britt and all her exploits, so … Continue reading
Holy moley. Did we have a year, or WHAT, Dani?!
Holy shitballs, Britt. It was crazy. What do you think was the craziest thing we did in 2013?
Start this blog, obviously.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BLOG-MATE!!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, TWIN-WIN!!
Today is the One Year Anniversary of Two Evil Actors, and we thought this would be a good moment to take a look back at 2013 for a little highlights tour. To get a juicy, in-depth look at the crazy shit that happened to us this year, click on the sexy pink hyperlinks. Obviously, the first stop on this tour is…
NANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yo, Britt, did you know that those were the words to the Lion King song?
Yes. Because I know ALL of the words to The Lion King. All the lines, and all of the lyrics.
Damn, dude, I’m impressed. I always thought it was “Ahhhh svegenya swuhduhgee vuhdada!!” Turns out the lyrics are Zulu for “Here comes a lion, Father.”
Of course it is.
Well. Now that THAT’S cleared up. We’ve veered off course as usual.
Typical.
BACK ON TRACK, EVIL MOFOS. And now for… (drumroll please) THE YEAR 2013 IN REVIEW:
… but in a healthy, Internet kind of way.
…in a losing-my-mind, grad school kind of way. WINNING.
Britt comes out of the closet and moves into a closet
I came out of the closet about my secret dream to move to LA… but moved into my little brother’s frat boy basement like a real adult first.
This was MOMENTOUS for me. Now I can check my email FROM MY CELL PHONE. What will they think of next?
10 life-points earned!
Girl, that’s like 1000 life points. Truth be told, my girl was involved in too many badass projects in 2013 to even include all of them here. My sista found some great collaborators and art-ed all over the place. HELL yeah.
Dani learns some damn discipline
Apparently I had to go to grad school in order to learn how to be an adult. Just trying to whip myself into shape here, people.
Britt and Dani are reunited (and it feels so good)
Watch out, Society. Total World Domination = Imminent.
I promise you– I am not making this shit up.
There is no way I can sum up that two months of my life. All I can say is that it was incredibly life-changing.
Everything will be okay.
Dani and Britt have hotswetymonkysex
Ewww not really. That would be incest. But we did have a blast playing “the googlesearch game,” AKA What-the-hell-are-people-looking-for-when-they-stumble-upon-our-blog. Turns out, people google some weeeeeiiirrd shit.
And it feels so good.
Dani gets culture shock… in America
I had a hard time adjusting to being back in the United States. I smoothed the transition with alcohol and had an EPIC August in Los Angeles.
I got drunk on a spaceship. Truth.
Dani has an existential crisis
It was a weird Fall. Incorporating my experiences in India into my life in Los Angeles, Writing a one-woman show, Rehearsing a million things for grad school…. WHO AM I??
I have the time of my life working on an incredible show at Artists Repertory Theatre.
That’s right. Everything. I find out that I’m essentially allergic to wheat, corn, dairy, sesame, sunshine, and air.
Britt moves to LA!!! (And Dani’s poppin’ bottles)
We’re everybody’s favorite shitshow.
Check out that sex-machine. I got to play a boy in The Time of Your Life and act my ass off in a bunch of other stuff at USC. Confession: I kinda miss having a dick.
I’m Queen of the Urban Jungle, baby. Or–at least–the Queen of being Dirt-Ass Broke.
Wow. Between the two of us there were some super high highs, some super low lows, and just about everything in between. I have to say though, I am so proud of the resilience and strength of my Britt, because she had one topsy-turvy year. That is a lot of artistic creation and a lot of major life change for one person in one year.
And I could not be more proud of my Dani girl. Her passion, bravery, and big open heart led her halfway across the world for a quarter of a year to immerse herself in a different culture and way of life, and those same Dani qualities inspired her to create bold and beautifully honest work in her intensive program at USC in 2013. That is a lot of artistic creation and a self-discovery for one person in one year.
As for myself, it’s hard to map the subtle changes that have taken place in me over the past year, but from where I’m standing, my internal terrain has shifted drastically. I feel more honest, more myself, than I have ever felt. For better or for worse.
And from a Britt perspective, a Brittspective, this year has transformed me more than any other. It inspired me and shook me to my core. I have felt broken, I have been afraid, I have had moments of extreme clarity and have been surrounded with more love than I have ever experienced. And although I am far from having it all figured out, 2013 has made me the luckiest woman I know and I am so, so thankful.
In my opinion, we did 2013 right, even if we didn’t know what we were doing half of the time.
(…Typical.)
Yeah, that seems about right.
Let’s ride that Furry Tractor of Badassedry right into 2014.
Bring it ON 2014!!
We love you guys.
~ dani & britt
This was me and Britt this past week:
Who was Peaches and who was Herb? You decide!
Actually, this was us this past week in sunny, sunny Los Angeles:
dani, britt, & the fucking OCEAN.
As was this:
move along, people, there’s nothing to see here.
We had way too much fun you guys. I can’t even wrap my head around it. I was trying to remember everything we did and I couldn’t.
Me neither. My four days with Dani were pure magic. A magical, glittery blur.
We may have even had some experiences that too closely resembled The Hangover Part 4, but I’m not permitted to talk about that.
I was so caught up in talking incessantly with my Britt and laughing my ass off and wrapping up my first year of M-F-Acting Grad School that I pretty much failed to capture any of this on camera to share with y’all. But here are some highlights!
And don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of relevant pop-culture GIFs to take the place of otherwise documenting our zany adventures. We got ya covered.
1. Mother’s day brunch at Venice Beach with my Momma! My parents were in LA to catch my performances of Don Quixote, so we had the joy of eating Mother’s Day brunch at Figtree’s Cafe and I am 99% positive that everyone who saw us assumed we were twins. NBD.
WHO IS WHO?! I HAVE NO IDEA.
2. Britt invades USC!! I took Britt to campus to see the last of the culmination performances of this semester, and once again tricked everyone into thinking we were related. In all seriousness, we want a nickel each for every time someone says, “Oh my God, you two look SO MUCH alike!” We would be MILLIONAIRES. It’s awesome. I like to think of it as external proof that we are soul-sistas.
USC takeova.
And I would cash in my tens of millions of nickels to buy laser cats.
Holy CRAP though. It was an honor to watch the first and second year MFA students’ final performance work this week. There are some talented fucking actors in this program. I want to shower them all in love and praise!
MFA first years
MFA second years
Whether Dani (and USC, for that matter) likes it or not, I will ninja into being the eleventh member of their MFA class. Or, at the very least, I’ll be everyone’s favorite stage-mom.
3. Britt reunites with old friends! Not only did Britt reunite with yours truly, she got to see some old friends from years past! Highlights include…
Mikey Thomsen. ERS Manager at Deloitte and soon to be MBA badass at NYU.
Avital Shira. Portland-based, Work-In-Every-Major-City Theatre Goddess and all around Badass.
Hillary Burrelle, third-year law student at Loyola Law and future Queen of the World
4. We discovered these amazing smoothies at Urth Caffe, thanks to the lovely Hillary Burrelle, and had them three times in the four days that Britt was here.
Seriously, you guys. These smoothies are crack and I am already having withdrawals from the sub-par smoothies in Portland.
5. We went to the ocean! Here is Britt conquering Mother Nature at Playa del Rey.
And here is Dani conquering a sand-cliff. Don’t mess.
6. Dani and Britt jam!!
Dani captured in a moment of music serenity.
When we live together down in LA LA Land, we are going to have the most musical house on the block. I wish I had room on my carry-on to travel with my new ukulele, cause you know that shit would have gotten CRAZY. We’re about to have some dueling Lady Gaga guitar/uke times, just you wait.
I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to have my bestie with me in Los Angeles. She seemed so at home here, and it was definitely living proof that in about four months, Britt will be conquering the whole damn city of Los Angeles. I’ll let Britt speak for herself, but post-reunion, I am feeling ready to take on India and come back to the City of Angels to continue the world takeover by Two Evil Actors.
Any fear or second-guessing I had about making making the move to Los Angeles dissipated when Dani and her parents picked me up at the LAX airport. The whole trip filled my soul and gave me energy. Thinking of my imminent move makes my chest vibrate with excitement… and I came back to Portland feeling rejuvenated and ready to work hard to prepare for this relocation.
I know that this new adventure will in many ways be stressful and sloppy and LOUD, but I truly do not know if I have ever looked forward to something so much in my life.
So watch out world, cause this Two Evil Actors reunion is about to become a permanent thing.
…It’s fucking ON.
we love you hard,
dani & britt
That’s right people. It’s Valentwins Day today. A day when Dani and I will publicly profess our love aaallll over the Interwebs (as if that wasn’t the point of this whole freaking blog anyway).
Please take a moment to take in this monument of our love, in chronological order:
VALEN-TWINS!!!!
Oh my GOD so much love happening!! It is impossible to look away!! It’s like the sun. As you can see, the flame is still burning. We’ve been honeymooning for years now, and it doesn’t look like the spark will ever fade. HOT! (…So many mixed metaphors/puns right there.)
In honor of Valentines/Valentwins Day, a time in which we celebrate the ones we love, here are some love montages for you to enjoy:
1.) DISNEY LOVE MONTAGE!
2.) Elephant love!
3. ) Portland’s very own….ISAAC LAMB’S LIP DUB PROPOSAL! (that’s right, that guy’s my buddy)
4. ) The follow-up to Isaac’s proposal to Amy and celebration of love, YES TO LOVE!:
Is anyone crying yet? Because I am currently weeping tears of joy at my desk. Dude, I wept like a baby at my desk when I first saw that. Fuh real.
And to you, our friends, who take the time 3 days out of your week to read the crazy babble we write on here… we love you. We thank you. You are incredibly attractive and we want to date you. All of you. At the same time. As long as you all keep it on the downlow. From each other.
X’s and O’s,
Britt & Dani
two evil actors 